Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts
Thursday, July 2, 2020
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Improving anything!!! - Made easy
We always strive hard to improve everything in our life...how we could improve anything without following certain pattern/method?.
Trust following three simple steps would help with simple formula or pattern to follow,
- The Desire to Improve (should one not long to improve?)
- The willingness to try new techniques ( it is easier to cling on to familiar things, isn't it?)
- The motivation to practice (achieving anything without putting into practice?No, Never)
Although these three points looks very simple, but in reality its very difficult.
Try following it for atleast a month and comment here your experiences.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Open Letter from a Rwandan Tutsi to the Tamil Brothers of Sri Lankan descent in Canada
Open Letter from a Rwandan Tutsi to the Tamil Brothers of Sri Lankan descent in Canada
May 6, 2009, 05:53
By Eloge Butera
I am a Tutsi from Rwanda, my family and I moved to Canada in the early 90s. This country is my home now. The fact that my daughters have a safe and secure life here is something that I thank the Lord for everyday. Things are very normal back home. Putting the bitter past behind them, the Tutsis and the Hutus are living together as one people now. To me, no matter how well Rwanda changes, my country will always be Canada.........
This article is removed after receiving OBJECTION...as found below,
Eloge Butera did not write this article. I ask the person responsible for posting the article to remove it immediately because it does not represent my views, and because it constitutes a farce impersonation of my identity. I therefore condemn and denounce this misrepresentation and once again request its immediate removal from the cite
NOTE: Article is removed, because the identity of the person written this article couldn't be properly validated.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Meeting you after long time!!!
Readers!!
Sorry to have missed you for long time.
Reason for not having regularly posting any new item here is because of on-going genocidal war in Eelam.
I was very much depressed and numbed by keeping hearing news about it and constantly exposed to all types of pictures and video clips that passed through me.
Moreover, I have two of my aunts trapped over there, who had been evacuated last month by ICRC ship. I talked to both of my aunts two weeks back.
I was really depressed not only because of seeing the atrocities of Lankan army, but also the silence maintained by IC and the double standard by UN.
I can surely say that its not my sentiment that was hurt but my conscience. I really felt being left alone.
All the humanitarian activities, human rights, etc etc really looked as a farce on humanity. I finally have understood "darwinian theory", which is being proved right repeatedly.
And political dramas that had been unwound by many in Tamilnadu also very depressing. Finally a voice has come from an unexpected quarter, and has got all the accolades from almost all Tamils, hopefully, whatever is promised is attained.
Sorry to have missed you for long time.
Reason for not having regularly posting any new item here is because of on-going genocidal war in Eelam.
I was very much depressed and numbed by keeping hearing news about it and constantly exposed to all types of pictures and video clips that passed through me.
Moreover, I have two of my aunts trapped over there, who had been evacuated last month by ICRC ship. I talked to both of my aunts two weeks back.
I was really depressed not only because of seeing the atrocities of Lankan army, but also the silence maintained by IC and the double standard by UN.
I can surely say that its not my sentiment that was hurt but my conscience. I really felt being left alone.
All the humanitarian activities, human rights, etc etc really looked as a farce on humanity. I finally have understood "darwinian theory", which is being proved right repeatedly.
And political dramas that had been unwound by many in Tamilnadu also very depressing. Finally a voice has come from an unexpected quarter, and has got all the accolades from almost all Tamils, hopefully, whatever is promised is attained.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Getting due respect as Tamil in Srilanka?
We know that Muthukumaran has done a supreme sacrifice of giving his life for the cause of Tamils. He knew what he is doing?. How this news is being taken by chauvinist Srilankans. How these sinhalese are motivated towards Tamils?.
please do click on this link to know what "comments" have been for the NEWs of Muthukumaran's martyrdom.
Oh holy cow! World !!! Do you still advocate to live amicably with these chauvinists?
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Opinion : Mumbai Terror
Here I found an Article voicing differently from MEDIAs that so far have been harping on MUMBAI TERROR attack, promoting the interests of theirs than what is actually expected of them as a media's responsibility.
I happened to read this article from http: //openspace.org.in , Here I am posting this article just to air a different perspective of what media did and could have played well.
Like politicians, almost everybody in power house have their own agenda to pursue, even media proves they reap maximum out of the coverage. Past 10 days, I have been following Newspapers, Articles and News channels on this coverage. most of the news channels try to put theirs words into someone's mouth and then make an issue of it.
Yesterday, I was watching "TIMES NOW", Goswami looked frustrated in a heated debate where a journalist (aamir from london) and Former Internal (?) Ministor of pakistan and G.parthasarathy (former High commissioner of pakistan) participated. He was very much frsutrated on hearing certain comments from Former minister and Aamir, It looked to me the reason for his frustruation as Goswami was trying to put some words into their mouth,which they refused to take.
In current situation, Everybody wants India to go for a WAR with Pakistan,which obviously should be a last resort in handling conflicts between two nations. Media is fueling and fanning hatred against politians (a necessary EVIL in any democracy] and trying to raise their TRP ratings.
P.S : I really hate watching TAMIL NEWS channels. Horrible... (sometimes I do watch them , as a subject of my research).
Hotel Taj : icon of whose India ?
Gnani Sankaran- writer, Chennai
Watching at least four English news channels surfing from one anotherduring the last 60 hours of terror strike made me feel a terror ofanother kind. The terror of assaulting one's mind and sensitivity withcameras, sound bites and non-stop blabbers. All these channels havebeen trying to manufacture my consent for a big lie called - Hotel Tajthe icon of India.
Whose India, Whose Icon ?
It is a matter of great shame that these channels simply did notbother about the other icon that faced the first attack fromterrorists - the Chatrapathi Shivaji Terminus (CST) railway station.CST is the true icon of Mumbai. It is through this railway stationhundreds of Indians from Uttar Pradesh, Bihar, Rajasthan, West Bengaland Tamilnadu have poured into Mumbai over the years, transformingthemselves into Mumbaikars and built the Mumbai of today along withthe Marathis and Kolis.
But the channels would not recognise this. Nor would they recognisethe thirty odd dead bodies strewn all over the platform of CST. NoBarkha dutt went there to tell us who they were. But she was at Taj toshow us the damaged furniture and reception lobby braving the guards.And the TV cameras did not go to the government run JJ hospital tofind out who those 26 unidentified bodies were. Instead they wereagain invading the battered Taj to try in vain for a scoop shot of thedead bodies of the page 3 celebrities.
In all probability, the unidentified bodies could be those of workersfrom Bihar and Uttar Pradesh migrating to Mumbai, arriving by train atCST without cell phones and pan cards to identify them. Even after 60hours after the CST massacre, no channel has bothered to cover indetail what transpired there.
The channels conveniently failed to acknowledge that the Aam Aadmis ofIndia surviving in Mumbai were not affected by Taj, Oberoi and Tridentclosing down for a couple of weeks or months. What mattered to themwas the stoppage of BEST buses and suburban trains even for one hour.But the channels were not covering that aspect of the terror attack.Such information at best merited a scroll line, while the cameras haveto be dedicated for real time thriller unfolding at Taj or Narimanbhavan.
The so called justification for the hype the channels built aroundheritage site Taj falling down (CST is also a heritage site), is thatHotel Taj is where the rich and the powerful of India and the globecongregate. It is a symbol or icon of power of money and politics, notIndia. It is the icon of the financiers and swindlers of India. TheMumbai and India were built by the Aam Aadmis who passed through CSTand Taj was the oasis of peace and privacy for those who wielded powerover these mass of labouring classes. Leopold club and Taj were thehaunts of rich spoilt kids who would drive their vehicles oversleeping Aam Aadmis on the pavement, the Mafiosi of Mumbai foreverfinancing the glitterati of Bollywood (and also the terrorists) ,Political brokers and industrialists.
It is precisely because Taj is the icon of power and not people, thatthe terrorists chose to strike.
The terrorists have understood after several efforts that the AamAadmi will never break down even if you bomb her markets and trains.He/she was resilient because that is the only way he/she can even survive.
Resilience was another word that annoyed the pundits of news channelsand their patrons this time. What resilience, enough is enough, saidPranoy Roy's channel on the left side of the channel spectrum. Samesentiments were echoed by Arnab Goswami representing the right wing ofthe broadcast media whose time is now. Can Rajdeep be far behind inthis game of one upmanship over TRPs ? They all attacked resiliencethis time. They wanted firm action from the government in tackling terror.
The same channels celebrated resilience when bombs went off in trainsand markets killing and maiming the Aam Aadmis. The resilience of theordinary worker suited the rich business class of Mumbai since work ormanufacture or film shooting did not stop. When it came to them, therich shamelessly exhibited their lack of nerves and refused to beresilient themselves. They cry for government intervention now toprotect their private spas and swimming pools and bars andrestaurants, similar to the way in which Citibank, General Motors andthe ilk cry for government money when their coffers are emptied bytheir own ideologies.
The terrorists have learnt that the ordinary Indian is unperturbed byterror. For one whose daily existence itself is a terror of governmentsponsored inflation and market sponsored exclusion, pain is somethinghe has learnt to live with. The rich of Mumbai and India Inc arefacing the pain for the first time and learning about it just as themiddle classes of India learnt about violation of human rights onlyduring emergency, a cool 28 years after independence.
And human rights were another favourite issue for the channels to whipat times of terrorism.
Arnab Goswami in an animated voice wondered where were thosechampions of human rights now, not to be seen applauding the brave andselfless police officers who gave up their life in fighting terorism.Well, the counter question would be where were you when such officerswere violating the human rights of Aam Aadmis. Has there ever been any24 hour non stop coverage of violence against dalits and adivasis ofthis country?
This definitely was not the time to manufacture consent for the extralegal and third degree methods of interrogation of police and army butArnabs don't miss a single opportunity to serve their class masters,this time the jingoistic patriotism came in handy to whitewash theentire uniformed services.
The sacrifice of the commandos or the police officers who went downdying at the hands of ruthless terrorists is no doubt heart rendingbut in vain in a situation which needed not just bran but also brain.Israel has a point when it says the operations were misplannedresulting in the death of its nationals here.
Khakares and Salaskars would not be dead if they did not commit themistake of traveling by the same vehicle. It is a basic lesson inmanagement that the top brass should never t ravel together in crisis.The terrorists, if only they had watched the channels, would havelaughed their hearts out when the Chief of the Marine commandos, anelite force, masking his face so unprofessionally in a see-throughcloth, told the media that the commandos had no idea about thestructure of the Hotel Taj which they were trying to liberate. But theterrorists knew the place thoroughly, he acknowledged.
Is it so difficult to obtain a ground plan of Hotel Taj and discussoperation strategy thoroughly for at least one hour before entering?This is something even an event manager would first ask for, if he hadto fix 25 audio systems and 50 CCtvs for a cultural event in a hotel.Would not Ratan Tata have provided a plan of his ancestral hotel tothe commandos within one hour considering the mighty apparatus at hisand government's disposal? Are satelite pictures only available forterrorists and not the government agencies ? In an operation known toconsume time, one more hour for preparation would have only improvedthe efficiency of execution.
Sacrifices become doubly tragic in unprofessional circumstances. Butthe Aam Aadmis always believe that terror-shooters do better planningthan terrorists. And the gullible media in a jingoistic mood would notraise any question about any of these issues.
They after all have their favourite whipping boy - the politician theeternal entertainer for the non-voting rich classes of India.
Arnabs and Rajdeeps would wax eloquent on Nanmohan Singh and Advanivisiting Mumbai separately and not together showing solidarity even atthis hour of national crisis. What a farce? Why can't these channelspool together all their camera crew and reporters at this time ofnational calamity and share the sound and visual bites which couldmean a wider and deeper coverage of events with such a huge humanresource to command? Why should Arnab and Rajdeep and Barkha keepharping every five minutes that this piece of information wasexclusive to their channel, at the time of such a national crisis? Isthis the time to promote the channel? If that is valid, the politicianpromoting his own political constituency is equally valid. And theduty of the politican is to do politics, his politics.
It is for thepeople to evaluate that politics.And terrorism is not above politics.
It is politics by other means.To come to grips with it and to eventually eliminate it, the practiceof politics by proper means needs constant fine tuning andimprovement. Decrying all politics and politicians, only helpsterrorists and dictators who are the two sides of the same coin. Andthe rich and powerful always prefer terrorists and dictators to dobusiness with.
Those caught in this crossfire are always the Aam Aadmis whose deathsare not even mourned - the taxi driver who lost the entire family atCST firing, the numerous waiters and stewards who lost their livesworking in Taj for a monthly salary that would be one time bill fortheir masters.
Postscript 1: In a fit of anger and depression, I sent a message to allthe channels, 30 hours through the coverage. After all they have beenconstantly asking the viewers to message them for anything andeverything. My message read: I send this with lots of pain. Allchannels, including yours, must apologise for not covering the victimsof CST massacre, the real mumbaikars and aam aadmis of India. Yourobsession with five star elite is disgusting. Learn from the printmedia please. No channel bothered. Only srinivasan Jain replied: youare right. We are trying to redress balance today. Well, nothinghappened till the time of writing this 66 hours after the terrorattack.
Postscript 2: the only relief in the three day coverage was all the anchors and reporters did NOT say Islamic or muslim terrorists anymore though they knew that the terrorists were muslims sent from Pakistan. Must be thanks to Malegaon.
I happened to read this article from http: //openspace.org.in , Here I am posting this article just to air a different perspective of what media did and could have played well.
Like politicians, almost everybody in power house have their own agenda to pursue, even media proves they reap maximum out of the coverage. Past 10 days, I have been following Newspapers, Articles and News channels on this coverage. most of the news channels try to put theirs words into someone's mouth and then make an issue of it.
Yesterday, I was watching "TIMES NOW", Goswami looked frustrated in a heated debate where a journalist (aamir from london) and Former Internal (?) Ministor of pakistan and G.parthasarathy (former High commissioner of pakistan) participated. He was very much frsutrated on hearing certain comments from Former minister and Aamir, It looked to me the reason for his frustruation as Goswami was trying to put some words into their mouth,which they refused to take.
In current situation, Everybody wants India to go for a WAR with Pakistan,which obviously should be a last resort in handling conflicts between two nations. Media is fueling and fanning hatred against politians (a necessary EVIL in any democracy] and trying to raise their TRP ratings.
P.S : I really hate watching TAMIL NEWS channels. Horrible... (sometimes I do watch them , as a subject of my research).
Hotel Taj : icon of whose India ?
Gnani Sankaran- writer, Chennai
Watching at least four English news channels surfing from one anotherduring the last 60 hours of terror strike made me feel a terror ofanother kind. The terror of assaulting one's mind and sensitivity withcameras, sound bites and non-stop blabbers. All these channels havebeen trying to manufacture my consent for a big lie called - Hotel Tajthe icon of India.
Whose India, Whose Icon ?
It is a matter of great shame that these channels simply did notbother about the other icon that faced the first attack fromterrorists - the Chatrapathi Shivaji Terminus (CST) railway station.CST is the true icon of Mumbai. It is through this railway stationhundreds of Indians from Uttar Pradesh, Bihar, Rajasthan, West Bengaland Tamilnadu have poured into Mumbai over the years, transformingthemselves into Mumbaikars and built the Mumbai of today along withthe Marathis and Kolis.
But the channels would not recognise this. Nor would they recognisethe thirty odd dead bodies strewn all over the platform of CST. NoBarkha dutt went there to tell us who they were. But she was at Taj toshow us the damaged furniture and reception lobby braving the guards.And the TV cameras did not go to the government run JJ hospital tofind out who those 26 unidentified bodies were. Instead they wereagain invading the battered Taj to try in vain for a scoop shot of thedead bodies of the page 3 celebrities.
In all probability, the unidentified bodies could be those of workersfrom Bihar and Uttar Pradesh migrating to Mumbai, arriving by train atCST without cell phones and pan cards to identify them. Even after 60hours after the CST massacre, no channel has bothered to cover indetail what transpired there.
The channels conveniently failed to acknowledge that the Aam Aadmis ofIndia surviving in Mumbai were not affected by Taj, Oberoi and Tridentclosing down for a couple of weeks or months. What mattered to themwas the stoppage of BEST buses and suburban trains even for one hour.But the channels were not covering that aspect of the terror attack.Such information at best merited a scroll line, while the cameras haveto be dedicated for real time thriller unfolding at Taj or Narimanbhavan.
The so called justification for the hype the channels built aroundheritage site Taj falling down (CST is also a heritage site), is thatHotel Taj is where the rich and the powerful of India and the globecongregate. It is a symbol or icon of power of money and politics, notIndia. It is the icon of the financiers and swindlers of India. TheMumbai and India were built by the Aam Aadmis who passed through CSTand Taj was the oasis of peace and privacy for those who wielded powerover these mass of labouring classes. Leopold club and Taj were thehaunts of rich spoilt kids who would drive their vehicles oversleeping Aam Aadmis on the pavement, the Mafiosi of Mumbai foreverfinancing the glitterati of Bollywood (and also the terrorists) ,Political brokers and industrialists.
It is precisely because Taj is the icon of power and not people, thatthe terrorists chose to strike.
The terrorists have understood after several efforts that the AamAadmi will never break down even if you bomb her markets and trains.He/she was resilient because that is the only way he/she can even survive.
Resilience was another word that annoyed the pundits of news channelsand their patrons this time. What resilience, enough is enough, saidPranoy Roy's channel on the left side of the channel spectrum. Samesentiments were echoed by Arnab Goswami representing the right wing ofthe broadcast media whose time is now. Can Rajdeep be far behind inthis game of one upmanship over TRPs ? They all attacked resiliencethis time. They wanted firm action from the government in tackling terror.
The same channels celebrated resilience when bombs went off in trainsand markets killing and maiming the Aam Aadmis. The resilience of theordinary worker suited the rich business class of Mumbai since work ormanufacture or film shooting did not stop. When it came to them, therich shamelessly exhibited their lack of nerves and refused to beresilient themselves. They cry for government intervention now toprotect their private spas and swimming pools and bars andrestaurants, similar to the way in which Citibank, General Motors andthe ilk cry for government money when their coffers are emptied bytheir own ideologies.
The terrorists have learnt that the ordinary Indian is unperturbed byterror. For one whose daily existence itself is a terror of governmentsponsored inflation and market sponsored exclusion, pain is somethinghe has learnt to live with. The rich of Mumbai and India Inc arefacing the pain for the first time and learning about it just as themiddle classes of India learnt about violation of human rights onlyduring emergency, a cool 28 years after independence.
And human rights were another favourite issue for the channels to whipat times of terrorism.
Arnab Goswami in an animated voice wondered where were thosechampions of human rights now, not to be seen applauding the brave andselfless police officers who gave up their life in fighting terorism.Well, the counter question would be where were you when such officerswere violating the human rights of Aam Aadmis. Has there ever been any24 hour non stop coverage of violence against dalits and adivasis ofthis country?
This definitely was not the time to manufacture consent for the extralegal and third degree methods of interrogation of police and army butArnabs don't miss a single opportunity to serve their class masters,this time the jingoistic patriotism came in handy to whitewash theentire uniformed services.
The sacrifice of the commandos or the police officers who went downdying at the hands of ruthless terrorists is no doubt heart rendingbut in vain in a situation which needed not just bran but also brain.Israel has a point when it says the operations were misplannedresulting in the death of its nationals here.
Khakares and Salaskars would not be dead if they did not commit themistake of traveling by the same vehicle. It is a basic lesson inmanagement that the top brass should never t ravel together in crisis.The terrorists, if only they had watched the channels, would havelaughed their hearts out when the Chief of the Marine commandos, anelite force, masking his face so unprofessionally in a see-throughcloth, told the media that the commandos had no idea about thestructure of the Hotel Taj which they were trying to liberate. But theterrorists knew the place thoroughly, he acknowledged.
Is it so difficult to obtain a ground plan of Hotel Taj and discussoperation strategy thoroughly for at least one hour before entering?This is something even an event manager would first ask for, if he hadto fix 25 audio systems and 50 CCtvs for a cultural event in a hotel.Would not Ratan Tata have provided a plan of his ancestral hotel tothe commandos within one hour considering the mighty apparatus at hisand government's disposal? Are satelite pictures only available forterrorists and not the government agencies ? In an operation known toconsume time, one more hour for preparation would have only improvedthe efficiency of execution.
Sacrifices become doubly tragic in unprofessional circumstances. Butthe Aam Aadmis always believe that terror-shooters do better planningthan terrorists. And the gullible media in a jingoistic mood would notraise any question about any of these issues.
They after all have their favourite whipping boy - the politician theeternal entertainer for the non-voting rich classes of India.
Arnabs and Rajdeeps would wax eloquent on Nanmohan Singh and Advanivisiting Mumbai separately and not together showing solidarity even atthis hour of national crisis. What a farce? Why can't these channelspool together all their camera crew and reporters at this time ofnational calamity and share the sound and visual bites which couldmean a wider and deeper coverage of events with such a huge humanresource to command? Why should Arnab and Rajdeep and Barkha keepharping every five minutes that this piece of information wasexclusive to their channel, at the time of such a national crisis? Isthis the time to promote the channel? If that is valid, the politicianpromoting his own political constituency is equally valid. And theduty of the politican is to do politics, his politics.
It is for thepeople to evaluate that politics.And terrorism is not above politics.
It is politics by other means.To come to grips with it and to eventually eliminate it, the practiceof politics by proper means needs constant fine tuning andimprovement. Decrying all politics and politicians, only helpsterrorists and dictators who are the two sides of the same coin. Andthe rich and powerful always prefer terrorists and dictators to dobusiness with.
Those caught in this crossfire are always the Aam Aadmis whose deathsare not even mourned - the taxi driver who lost the entire family atCST firing, the numerous waiters and stewards who lost their livesworking in Taj for a monthly salary that would be one time bill fortheir masters.
Postscript 1: In a fit of anger and depression, I sent a message to allthe channels, 30 hours through the coverage. After all they have beenconstantly asking the viewers to message them for anything andeverything. My message read: I send this with lots of pain. Allchannels, including yours, must apologise for not covering the victimsof CST massacre, the real mumbaikars and aam aadmis of India. Yourobsession with five star elite is disgusting. Learn from the printmedia please. No channel bothered. Only srinivasan Jain replied: youare right. We are trying to redress balance today. Well, nothinghappened till the time of writing this 66 hours after the terrorattack.
Postscript 2: the only relief in the three day coverage was all the anchors and reporters did NOT say Islamic or muslim terrorists anymore though they knew that the terrorists were muslims sent from Pakistan. Must be thanks to Malegaon.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Interesting Point of View
A married couple was enjoying a dinner out when a statuesque blondewalked over to their table, exchanged warm greetings with the husband,and walked off. "Who was that?" the wife demanded.
"If you must know," the husband replied, "that was my mistress." "Yourmistress? That's it! I want a divorce!" the wife fumed.
The husband looked her straight in the eye and said, "Are you sure youwant to give up our big house in the suburbs, your Mercedes, your furs,your jewelry, and our vacation home in Mexico?"
For a long time they continued dining in silence. Finally, the womannudged her husband and said, "Isn't that Howard over there? Who's hewith?"
"That's HIS mistress," her husband replied.
"Hmmph..." she said, taking a bite of dessert. "Ours is much cuter."
------------------
There are lot of POINTS and VIEWS....:)
"If you must know," the husband replied, "that was my mistress." "Yourmistress? That's it! I want a divorce!" the wife fumed.
The husband looked her straight in the eye and said, "Are you sure youwant to give up our big house in the suburbs, your Mercedes, your furs,your jewelry, and our vacation home in Mexico?"
For a long time they continued dining in silence. Finally, the womannudged her husband and said, "Isn't that Howard over there? Who's hewith?"
"That's HIS mistress," her husband replied.
"Hmmph..." she said, taking a bite of dessert. "Ours is much cuter."
------------------
There are lot of POINTS and VIEWS....:)
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
வாழ்க்கை - காதல், ஓடிப்போதல், கல்யாணம் - (பாகம் ஒன்று)
"இது என்னுடைய முதல் தமிழ் பதிப்பு, தயைகூர்ந்து பிற மொழி படிப்பாளர்கள் பொறுத்து அருளுங்கள் "
-- This is my first post in TAMIL, other language readers please bear with me
என்னுரை
"காதல்", "ஓடிப்போதல்,"கல்யாணம் " பற்றி எழுதுவது என்று முடிவு செய்தாகிவிட்டது, ஆனால் எங்கிருந்து துவங்குவது பற்றி இன்னும் சரியாக முடிவு செய்யவில்லை. கதையை எங்கேயாவது துவங்கித்தானே ஆக வேண்டியுள்ளது. ஆரம்பத்தைப் பிடித்து விட்டால் மற்றவை தன் பாட்டுக்குப் பின்னாலே வந்து விட போகிறது. இல்லையா ??. கதையைப் போலத்தான் காதலும்னு நினைக்கிறேன். ஆரம்பிக்கிறது அவ்வளவு சுலபம் இல்லைதானோ?. ம்ம்ம்... கல்யாணம்? சிந்திக்க வேண்டிய கேள்வி தான்?. சரி பார்க்கலாம், நாம் எங்கே ஆரம்பிச்சு எங்கே முடிக்கிறோம்னுk...
காதலும் கதை மாதிரிதான்னு நினைக்கிறேன், எங்கேயோ எப்படியோ மனதில் முளை விட்டு, வேர்விட்டு ,மரமாகி, படாத பாடு படுத்திவிடுது மனதையும் மனிதரையும். காதல் என்னவோ கதைகளில் படிக்கும் போதும், பிறர் சொல்ல கேட்கும் போதும் நன்றாகத் தான் இருக்கிறது.
காதல், கல்யாணம் பற்றி எழுதுவதால், நான் காதலுக்கும், கல்யாணத்துக்கும் நண்பனும் இல்லை, எதிரியும் இல்லை, மனதில் பட்டதை எழுதி விடலாமே என்ற எண்ணமே மேலோங்கியதால் உள்ளே விழைவே இது. எது எப்படியாகிலும் எழுதத் தழைப்பட்ட பின்னே பின்வாங்கலாமா, எழுத நினைத்ததை எழுதி விடலாமே. எழுதலாமே !!!
காதல் பண்ணுகிற எவரும் இதனால் உந்தப்பட்டு காதல் மற்றும் கல்யாணம் பண்ணுவதை கைவிட்டு விட்டால் அதற்கு யாரை பொறுப்பேற்க வைப்பது ?. காதலையும் கல்யாணத்தையும் விட இதுவே மிகப்பெரிய பிரச்சனையாக இருக்கும் போல் தெரியுது. இது இப்போதைக்கு ஒரு பக்கமாக இருக்கட்டும். சரி நாம் பேச வேண்டிய விஷயத்துக்குப் போவோம்.
ஹ்ம்ம் ....உள்ளேசரி இப்போ நாம் உள்ளதை உள்ளபடியே சொல்லி விடலாமா? இல்லை கூட்டிக் குறைத்து சுவை மிக சொல்லலாமா? ஐயகோ! இதென்ன என் நிலை இப்படி ஆகிடுச்சே? ஏன் என்னால் இப்படி ஒரு முடிவு எடுக்க முடியவில்லை. அதுவும் காதல் பற்றி எழுதுவதிலேயேவா இப்படி? பின் காதல் புரிந்து ஓடிப்போகும் நிலை வந்தால் நான் என்னதான் செய்வேனோ? கடவுளே !! (வேறே யாரைத்தான் கூப்பிட நான்?) இப்படி நான் இருந்தால் யார் தான் என்னை காதலிக்கத் துணிவார்? . இவ்வாறு இருந்தால் ஏன் என்னை ஒருவர் காதலிக்க வேண்டும், பின்னர் கஷ்டப்பட வேண்டும்?.
' சுய புராணத்தில்' என்னமோ நான் ஒரு வகையில் ' சுயம்பு' தான். 'சுயம்' விடுத்து செல்வோமா உள்ளே? ...
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Sex : transgenders and Sex-workers - Discussion
I would like to thank VijayTV for initiating this discussion on a media. I think the society slowly would understand things in the right way.
I always welcome any healthy discussion on any topics. Readers interested to hear this discussion, please do visit the following link.
http://www.thiraivirunthu.com/video/ipadikku-rose-episode-3/
I am not here endorsing anything that has been discussed but rightly endorse the initiative and courage of these participants in this discussion.Its really a welcome initiative from a media.This show is run by a transgender called "ROSE",that is also a real welcome move from TV media.
My association with transgender happened by reading a "novel written in one of the famous tamil weekly ananda vikatan in early 90's ". A novel written fully about transgender by su.samuthiram, readers if get a chance can read that novel (vadamalli). As a teen age boy, I was fully taken by that novel and shocked to know in entirety the state of these people who could neither live like MALE or FEMALE. I invite readers just to imagine what if they happen to be one among them. don't be surprised that I used to medidate on this and started believe i am becoming one. I still could feel the pain of being a transgender and being treated indifferently by the society.
Like ROSE there are many transgenders who lead somewhat decent life, but not everybody is fortunate enough to live a decent life. Everyone of them undergo highly humiliating moment in their life, thank God, they face them in one of the other way.if that is a case with transgenders in the society, one could understand the life of SEX workers. probably we fail to treat "people as people" or is it that "we fail to realize that we are human".
Whatever It may be, I welcome this initiative by ROSE to bring REAL SEX WORKERS on the show. If you carefully watch the show, you would realize there were two REAL sex workers one among them was willingly became sex worker as she liked this life-style as she says,whilst the other was forced by society. We all have our own reasons to live in LIFE.
Wish everybody realize their role and live their life happily.
your comments are always welcome.
I always welcome any healthy discussion on any topics. Readers interested to hear this discussion, please do visit the following link.
http://www.thiraivirunthu.com/video/ipadikku-rose-episode-3/
I am not here endorsing anything that has been discussed but rightly endorse the initiative and courage of these participants in this discussion.Its really a welcome initiative from a media.This show is run by a transgender called "ROSE",that is also a real welcome move from TV media.
My association with transgender happened by reading a "novel written in one of the famous tamil weekly ananda vikatan in early 90's ". A novel written fully about transgender by su.samuthiram, readers if get a chance can read that novel (vadamalli). As a teen age boy, I was fully taken by that novel and shocked to know in entirety the state of these people who could neither live like MALE or FEMALE. I invite readers just to imagine what if they happen to be one among them. don't be surprised that I used to medidate on this and started believe i am becoming one. I still could feel the pain of being a transgender and being treated indifferently by the society.
Like ROSE there are many transgenders who lead somewhat decent life, but not everybody is fortunate enough to live a decent life. Everyone of them undergo highly humiliating moment in their life, thank God, they face them in one of the other way.if that is a case with transgenders in the society, one could understand the life of SEX workers. probably we fail to treat "people as people" or is it that "we fail to realize that we are human".
Whatever It may be, I welcome this initiative by ROSE to bring REAL SEX WORKERS on the show. If you carefully watch the show, you would realize there were two REAL sex workers one among them was willingly became sex worker as she liked this life-style as she says,whilst the other was forced by society. We all have our own reasons to live in LIFE.
Wish everybody realize their role and live their life happily.
your comments are always welcome.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Life Lessons - 1 COST OF PROCRASTINATION
'Procrastination' is a WORD which never will be erased/forgotten from my 'historic' life in coming days. You may find this word in each and every sentence or paragraph written about me. [Ha ha in a way its my dream that someone would actually write about me].
I am very much known for this habit of mine. How many times did I try and how serious did I try in getting rid of this habit,It just sticks to me like a parasite and sure enough to be patronised by me and me alone everytime. History tells that I have always helped it survive in my life.
Readers must not be misled over the above statement that I am actually unaware of this 'unhealthy' habit. Statistically speaking (It is worth giving some figures to impress people) 10 out of 7.5 cases,I am fully aware of me getting late or in other words, I could feel Time sliping away under my feet.
Should there be a contest and If you are in search of finding a "worlds most Laziest and lethargic person" never have a second thought but to contact me better in person than other means (Beware! you may get a reply very late,if contacted even via phone). Should I promise to win you prizes. Now to real Lesson!!
Recently, I had been to my native (For past few months I am shutting between my current location and my native).
This is was the day I suppose to travel back to my workplace. (This is a normal schedule,when in native)
4.00 AM - Deep sleep (snoring) [ information courtesy : My wife (I am married huh) ]
5.00 AM - Still Asleep ( I know because, I havn't got up yet) :)
6.00 AM - Half Sleep (Aware of something happening around me,but donno what).
7.00 AM - I am getting up (its TEA time buddy) [Sorry !! I am still dreaming in bed]
8.00 AM - Donno what I did actually.
Daily routine at home starts NOW (whenever I am home)
8:42 AM - Sun rises from EAST and I raise from my DREAM,finally from BED.
9:30 AM - Early morning walk on the roadside.
10:00AM - Meet with friends in neighbouring village. (i walk).
10:30 AM - Early morning TEA and Tiffin (vada*5,ponda*3,pajji*3).
11:00 AM - Wait until someone pays the bill (otherwise, pay from pocket )
DECIDED to meet them on my way back in evening.
12:00 AM - Back Home for morning Breakfast.
12:05 PM - Inform people at home that I start today.
12:30 PM- Wait for Lunch (Unfortunately, Its lunch time already)
01:00 PM - still waiting (try to kill time by talking to wife)
01:45 PM - Lunch is ready but have to wait for all family members to join.
02:00 PM - Have final Lunch at home for that trip (do some justice by having stomach full )
02:05 PM - Declare 'I will be moving by 3pm exactly from home so that can board 9pm bus.
02:15 PM - Go to bed (after having stomach full,how do you expect me to move around?)
02:45 PM - Deep sleep.
02:50 PM - Wife wakes up. Snooze again.
03:10 PM - Wife again wakes up. Get up slowly and stedily (win the race??? ).I lambast wife
for waking me up very late.
03:25 PM - Get ready , get blessings from parents. (Mom everytime I start never forget to
remind me not to hang around anywhere but to reach the destination on time.I
defy all the times.)
FYI,
Usually,I have a habit of not booking my tickets but occasionally I do [only book tickets if available online! Techsavvy huh :)] and one of such rare occasion was this that I had booked my return ticket to workplace. It was a private bus supposed to start by 9pm at night. I suppose to report them at 8.30pm (why am I taking pains in giving exact timings! May be I am improving in time management? ).It is 14 hours travel by bus to my workplace and I have to commute atleast by 4 buses to reach my workplace (10 hrs + 30-50 mins + 2 - 3 hours + 1 hr) all at the mercy of Drivers and I was living 4+ hours travel away from private bus station.
03:30PM - Wait for the bus (I am already 10 mins in advance for the bus to arrive.bus
supposed to arrive by 3:40PM)
03:50 PM - Bus finally arrives. (Apply one of Murphy's Laws here!)
04:00PM - Friends are waiting for me and they wave towards me (Its an indication, to alight
from bus, moreover,Its not good to brake once promises to others)
04: 30 PM - We reach another friend's house,whose marriage is in trouble. (Friend in need is
Friend indeed).
05:00 PM - Friends mom serves TEA to everyone (savings for the day :3 Rs).
05:05 PM - I inform friends that I suppose catch my 9pm bus in Madurai.
05:06 PM - My friend assures me that he can leave me in my town so I can catch a 1-1 bus
to madurai, which takes just 2 hours to reach.
05:06 PM - I am sure, I have enough time.Not to worry now.
05:30 PM - We finally decided,Its the right time to start by 2-Wheeler.
05:35 PM - My friend and me reach local bus stand and I insist I want to have vada,ponda
(Evening tiffin cannot be missed,anyway).
05:45PM - Start towards my town in short cut so as to catch 6PM.I am hopeful I can board
the bus.
06:03PM - Reach town bus station, to find 1-1 bus already moving. chase to catch the bus.
Bus left without stopping anywhere. (Saved almost 40 mins of travel time from
by using 2-wheeler, happy ? ).
06:15 PM - Back again to town bus station. A bus starts. I board the bus finally.
06:15PM - Start calculating different "permutation combinations" in mind.
Calculations :
--------------
If the bus takes usual 3 hrs to reach Madurai (mattuthavani bus-stand) what to do next?
- Catch an auto to Periyar bus station?
- Or try KSRTC buses to Bangalore?
- Or should I inform collegue that reaching office tomorrow is difficult,hence I would be
WFH?
- Should I get down in ring road and catch a bus to periyar so i can save around 10 mins?.
- why not give a call to Travels requesting them to wait for 15 mins?.
What If reaches in 2.30 hrs?.
- Again same questions popping-up.
06:45 PM - Reached Paramakudi (Ah ! Driver seems to be driving on time!!)
06:50 PM - Calling Travels informing them that i am supposed to report there by 8.30PM,
but i am reaching there but 10/15 mins late.
Travel Agent other side tells bus is on time [usually bus never on time,I was
counting on that until now, after hearing that started feeling nervous] ( please do
remember to apply Murphy's law here).
Again Started calculations as I have additional 5 mins in hand(count the EGGs on your hand,before......) ,
Re-Calculations :
- Wished that the bus reaches Ringroad cross within 2 hrs or atleast 2.15 hrs.
- Wished that I get a connecting bus to periyar immediately after alighing.
(Wishes never becomes a reality unless otherwise other factors work-out in your favour)
07:15 PM - Reached parthibanur, bus was late almost by 10 mins already.
07:30 PM - Manamadurai (now, Driver spotted a pazhani bus,which he wanted to overtake
and started a race) Race begins.
08:30 PM - Reach Thirupuvanam - spotted a City-bus to periyar ahead, a ray of hope)
08:40PM - Reach Ring-Road, its a best option to alight since spotted already connecting
city-bus to periyar.
08:40PM - Hmm..Not able to control, bladder about to blast, already worried,while easing
myself what if i miss the city-bus, finally half-finshed (che che, this jeans
pant !!!,please do remember working of Murphy's Law here again) run towards
the city-bus which started already, finally boarded)
[Remember have only 25 mins to board]
08:45PM - Inquire co-passenger, how long this city-bus would take to reach periyar.
Ensured that it would reach less than half hour.
08:50 PM - Call Travels to inform that Will they wait for till 09:05PM as assured earlier.
- Bus caught on Traffic Jam near EastVeli Street.
Calculations :
- What to do next if miss the bus?.
- Is it possible to reach Mattuthavani before 9:30PM to try my luck with KSRTC?
- Should I head towards Arapalayam,so that i can get a bus to Salem?.
- Started calculating when can I reach office in all probability?.
08:58PM - Meanwhile, realize bus almost entering periyar bus station, Just Jump out and
run towards Travels.
09:00PM - WoW ! I am in bus on Time !!! hmm..Should I worry about anything.
09:03 PM - Call Friends to tell that I am on time to board the bus.
COST OF PROCRASTINATION - Hmm...Nothing.just few calculations, and re-calculations. Anything else that i am missing.
Its a Tensionless LIFE anyway. :)
09:10 PM - Hmm..donno (I must be sleeping).
NOTE : Hmm...I think I am improving a lot from "Time Management" aspect.
I am very much known for this habit of mine. How many times did I try and how serious did I try in getting rid of this habit,It just sticks to me like a parasite and sure enough to be patronised by me and me alone everytime. History tells that I have always helped it survive in my life.
Readers must not be misled over the above statement that I am actually unaware of this 'unhealthy' habit. Statistically speaking (It is worth giving some figures to impress people) 10 out of 7.5 cases,I am fully aware of me getting late or in other words, I could feel Time sliping away under my feet.
Should there be a contest and If you are in search of finding a "worlds most Laziest and lethargic person" never have a second thought but to contact me better in person than other means (Beware! you may get a reply very late,if contacted even via phone). Should I promise to win you prizes. Now to real Lesson!!
Recently, I had been to my native (For past few months I am shutting between my current location and my native).
This is was the day I suppose to travel back to my workplace. (This is a normal schedule,when in native)
4.00 AM - Deep sleep (snoring) [ information courtesy : My wife (I am married huh) ]
5.00 AM - Still Asleep ( I know because, I havn't got up yet) :)
6.00 AM - Half Sleep (Aware of something happening around me,but donno what).
7.00 AM - I am getting up (its TEA time buddy) [Sorry !! I am still dreaming in bed]
8.00 AM - Donno what I did actually.
Daily routine at home starts NOW (whenever I am home)
8:42 AM - Sun rises from EAST and I raise from my DREAM,finally from BED.
9:30 AM - Early morning walk on the roadside.
10:00AM - Meet with friends in neighbouring village. (i walk).
10:30 AM - Early morning TEA and Tiffin (vada*5,ponda*3,pajji*3).
11:00 AM - Wait until someone pays the bill (otherwise, pay from pocket )
DECIDED to meet them on my way back in evening.
12:00 AM - Back Home for morning Breakfast.
12:05 PM - Inform people at home that I start today.
12:30 PM- Wait for Lunch (Unfortunately, Its lunch time already)
01:00 PM - still waiting (try to kill time by talking to wife)
01:45 PM - Lunch is ready but have to wait for all family members to join.
02:00 PM - Have final Lunch at home for that trip (do some justice by having stomach full )
02:05 PM - Declare 'I will be moving by 3pm exactly from home so that can board 9pm bus.
02:15 PM - Go to bed (after having stomach full,how do you expect me to move around?)
02:45 PM - Deep sleep.
02:50 PM - Wife wakes up. Snooze again.
03:10 PM - Wife again wakes up. Get up slowly and stedily (win the race??? ).I lambast wife
for waking me up very late.
03:25 PM - Get ready , get blessings from parents. (Mom everytime I start never forget to
remind me not to hang around anywhere but to reach the destination on time.I
defy all the times.)
FYI,
Usually,I have a habit of not booking my tickets but occasionally I do [only book tickets if available online! Techsavvy huh :)] and one of such rare occasion was this that I had booked my return ticket to workplace. It was a private bus supposed to start by 9pm at night. I suppose to report them at 8.30pm (why am I taking pains in giving exact timings! May be I am improving in time management? ).It is 14 hours travel by bus to my workplace and I have to commute atleast by 4 buses to reach my workplace (10 hrs + 30-50 mins + 2 - 3 hours + 1 hr) all at the mercy of Drivers and I was living 4+ hours travel away from private bus station.
03:30PM - Wait for the bus (I am already 10 mins in advance for the bus to arrive.bus
supposed to arrive by 3:40PM)
03:50 PM - Bus finally arrives. (Apply one of Murphy's Laws here!)
04:00PM - Friends are waiting for me and they wave towards me (Its an indication, to alight
from bus, moreover,Its not good to brake once promises to others)
04: 30 PM - We reach another friend's house,whose marriage is in trouble. (Friend in need is
Friend indeed).
05:00 PM - Friends mom serves TEA to everyone (savings for the day :3 Rs).
05:05 PM - I inform friends that I suppose catch my 9pm bus in Madurai.
05:06 PM - My friend assures me that he can leave me in my town so I can catch a 1-1 bus
to madurai, which takes just 2 hours to reach.
05:06 PM - I am sure, I have enough time.Not to worry now.
05:30 PM - We finally decided,Its the right time to start by 2-Wheeler.
05:35 PM - My friend and me reach local bus stand and I insist I want to have vada,ponda
(Evening tiffin cannot be missed,anyway).
05:45PM - Start towards my town in short cut so as to catch 6PM.I am hopeful I can board
the bus.
06:03PM - Reach town bus station, to find 1-1 bus already moving. chase to catch the bus.
Bus left without stopping anywhere. (Saved almost 40 mins of travel time from
by using 2-wheeler, happy ? ).
06:15 PM - Back again to town bus station. A bus starts. I board the bus finally.
06:15PM - Start calculating different "permutation combinations" in mind.
Calculations :
--------------
If the bus takes usual 3 hrs to reach Madurai (mattuthavani bus-stand) what to do next?
- Catch an auto to Periyar bus station?
- Or try KSRTC buses to Bangalore?
- Or should I inform collegue that reaching office tomorrow is difficult,hence I would be
WFH?
- Should I get down in ring road and catch a bus to periyar so i can save around 10 mins?.
- why not give a call to Travels requesting them to wait for 15 mins?.
What If reaches in 2.30 hrs?.
- Again same questions popping-up.
06:45 PM - Reached Paramakudi (Ah ! Driver seems to be driving on time!!)
06:50 PM - Calling Travels informing them that i am supposed to report there by 8.30PM,
but i am reaching there but 10/15 mins late.
Travel Agent other side tells bus is on time [usually bus never on time,I was
counting on that until now, after hearing that started feeling nervous] ( please do
remember to apply Murphy's law here).
Again Started calculations as I have additional 5 mins in hand(count the EGGs on your hand,before......) ,
Re-Calculations :
- Wished that the bus reaches Ringroad cross within 2 hrs or atleast 2.15 hrs.
- Wished that I get a connecting bus to periyar immediately after alighing.
(Wishes never becomes a reality unless otherwise other factors work-out in your favour)
07:15 PM - Reached parthibanur, bus was late almost by 10 mins already.
07:30 PM - Manamadurai (now, Driver spotted a pazhani bus,which he wanted to overtake
and started a race) Race begins.
08:30 PM - Reach Thirupuvanam - spotted a City-bus to periyar ahead, a ray of hope)
08:40PM - Reach Ring-Road, its a best option to alight since spotted already connecting
city-bus to periyar.
08:40PM - Hmm..Not able to control, bladder about to blast, already worried,while easing
myself what if i miss the city-bus, finally half-finshed (che che, this jeans
pant !!!,please do remember working of Murphy's Law here again) run towards
the city-bus which started already, finally boarded)
[Remember have only 25 mins to board]
08:45PM - Inquire co-passenger, how long this city-bus would take to reach periyar.
Ensured that it would reach less than half hour.
08:50 PM - Call Travels to inform that Will they wait for till 09:05PM as assured earlier.
- Bus caught on Traffic Jam near EastVeli Street.
Calculations :
- What to do next if miss the bus?.
- Is it possible to reach Mattuthavani before 9:30PM to try my luck with KSRTC?
- Should I head towards Arapalayam,so that i can get a bus to Salem?.
- Started calculating when can I reach office in all probability?.
08:58PM - Meanwhile, realize bus almost entering periyar bus station, Just Jump out and
run towards Travels.
09:00PM - WoW ! I am in bus on Time !!! hmm..Should I worry about anything.
09:03 PM - Call Friends to tell that I am on time to board the bus.
COST OF PROCRASTINATION - Hmm...Nothing.just few calculations, and re-calculations. Anything else that i am missing.
Its a Tensionless LIFE anyway. :)
09:10 PM - Hmm..donno (I must be sleeping).
NOTE : Hmm...I think I am improving a lot from "Time Management" aspect.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Chat , Blogs and I
Most of the times, when I am away from my computer, I feel like blogging a lot. Topics and subjects on which I should be writing flood my mind aplenty.
But, the moment I connect to Internet, I totally forget opening this blog, instead as usual I open YM and get lost with someone online. Not only do I lose my mind but my precious time as well. This habit of mine tests me mostly in trying times.
When I head home from office, I usually have a long list of "to do" items, but reaching home all I do is to connect to I-Net and get connected to world (YM) and get lost with the crowd.
Whenever I try to curb this habit of mine, I feel it tries to overpower me and mostly accomplishes its tasks successfully. After the act, it usually ends up feeling guilty about not doing anything productively.
As usual, I did an autopsy of this habit of mine which started when I was doing my PG. Then,Those days, I used to feel lonely , Moreover,all those subjects and the way subjects were being handled in my departments never interest me.
My classmates over that time were very busy establishing their "Identity" in the department. I felt as if the rush to handle "Identity crisis" immediately. "Identity" was keep hunting and haunting me. There was no place to hide. Besides that back at home, there were problems which need to be addressed. Apart from financial constraints, It was more of peak rivalry between 'brothers and sisters' ( BTW, I have only two younger brothers) for their inheritance. I had to step in to get a possible solution and we did it successfully (atleast it seemed it was OK to do that time).
So all these eventually came on me in the form of "Depression". I was looking for safe heaven and same came in the form of "Internet" in General Library. I must also admit that I was regular in bunking classes and labs. I hardly remember me working in lab more than a month in my entire term in Department. Its not that I am 'dyslexic' , but if you considered in the world of computers, I was and still I am.
'Library Internet' was my "Second life", this is where I started bridging the gap between me and Computer to manageable level. It allowed me to explore myself, stretch myself to the limit. Using Internet effectively (for what purpose?) is one of my objective even today. One of the adventures in Internet was "Getting a chat friend" that too if it was a "Girl" from other country (usually english speaking nation) was a great accomplishment. I had an accomplice who helped in getting to know the details of Internet ( I bought a book on this subject written in my vernacular).
Chatting back then was real fun. I used to talk on various subjects from sex to spiritual (Sex not equal to cybersex,Shall deal with this subject later) with more than 10 people at a time. I sometime wonder,How did I manage 10 people at a time talking in different subjects?. I will be fully concentrating on "Chatting", nothing more nothing less.
Following are some benefits of chatting,
1. Helped hiding my real Identity in the cyber world.
2. No Identity crisis unlike faced in real world.
3. Shelter for my hurt EGO.
4. Improve my Typing and Communication skills.
5. Made few very good friends and well wishers.
6. Helped in opening up myself out of depression. (Beware! It usually doesn't ).
7. Helped in understanding 'Human psychology' (Believe it or not, It did).
Following are some of my losses,
1. Lost lot of my precious TIME.
2. Lost lot of money.
3. Lost Identity (Ironically, Its true, there is identity crisis in cyber world as well).
4. Multiple Personality disorder (Beware! Surely leads to split personality).
5. Not everybody there is going to be REAL friends.
6. Easy to fall a prey of cyber crimes.
Chatting when it becomes a addiction is very difficult to come out unless otherwise with a help of professional counselors/psychiatrists. Someone tend to lead a "Illusionary life", only few escape and understand the ground reality.
Some of the ways in which you can identify, whether you are addicted,
a) Every now and then refresh the chat screen and look for 'online' friends.
b) If you start using "Chat lingos" in E-mails, documents and even in conversation.
c) Urge to be online (on chat) all the times. ( I used to be online 24 * 7 few years back).
d) Always feel like talking to someone. (Hardly you get this someone in real life listening to all
our blabbering.)
And now you know, why I hardly able to Blog. Everytime I pledge, I fail to deliver henceforth I want my fingers do the talking(hehehehe!!).
But, the moment I connect to Internet, I totally forget opening this blog, instead as usual I open YM and get lost with someone online. Not only do I lose my mind but my precious time as well. This habit of mine tests me mostly in trying times.
When I head home from office, I usually have a long list of "to do" items, but reaching home all I do is to connect to I-Net and get connected to world (YM) and get lost with the crowd.
Whenever I try to curb this habit of mine, I feel it tries to overpower me and mostly accomplishes its tasks successfully. After the act, it usually ends up feeling guilty about not doing anything productively.
As usual, I did an autopsy of this habit of mine which started when I was doing my PG. Then,Those days, I used to feel lonely , Moreover,all those subjects and the way subjects were being handled in my departments never interest me.
My classmates over that time were very busy establishing their "Identity" in the department. I felt as if the rush to handle "Identity crisis" immediately. "Identity" was keep hunting and haunting me. There was no place to hide. Besides that back at home, there were problems which need to be addressed. Apart from financial constraints, It was more of peak rivalry between 'brothers and sisters' ( BTW, I have only two younger brothers) for their inheritance. I had to step in to get a possible solution and we did it successfully (atleast it seemed it was OK to do that time).
So all these eventually came on me in the form of "Depression". I was looking for safe heaven and same came in the form of "Internet" in General Library. I must also admit that I was regular in bunking classes and labs. I hardly remember me working in lab more than a month in my entire term in Department. Its not that I am 'dyslexic' , but if you considered in the world of computers, I was and still I am.
'Library Internet' was my "Second life", this is where I started bridging the gap between me and Computer to manageable level. It allowed me to explore myself, stretch myself to the limit. Using Internet effectively (for what purpose?) is one of my objective even today. One of the adventures in Internet was "Getting a chat friend" that too if it was a "Girl" from other country (usually english speaking nation) was a great accomplishment. I had an accomplice who helped in getting to know the details of Internet ( I bought a book on this subject written in my vernacular).
Chatting back then was real fun. I used to talk on various subjects from sex to spiritual (Sex not equal to cybersex,Shall deal with this subject later) with more than 10 people at a time. I sometime wonder,How did I manage 10 people at a time talking in different subjects?. I will be fully concentrating on "Chatting", nothing more nothing less.
Following are some benefits of chatting,
1. Helped hiding my real Identity in the cyber world.
2. No Identity crisis unlike faced in real world.
3. Shelter for my hurt EGO.
4. Improve my Typing and Communication skills.
5. Made few very good friends and well wishers.
6. Helped in opening up myself out of depression. (Beware! It usually doesn't ).
7. Helped in understanding 'Human psychology' (Believe it or not, It did).
Following are some of my losses,
1. Lost lot of my precious TIME.
2. Lost lot of money.
3. Lost Identity (Ironically, Its true, there is identity crisis in cyber world as well).
4. Multiple Personality disorder (Beware! Surely leads to split personality).
5. Not everybody there is going to be REAL friends.
6. Easy to fall a prey of cyber crimes.
Chatting when it becomes a addiction is very difficult to come out unless otherwise with a help of professional counselors/psychiatrists. Someone tend to lead a "Illusionary life", only few escape and understand the ground reality.
Some of the ways in which you can identify, whether you are addicted,
a) Every now and then refresh the chat screen and look for 'online' friends.
b) If you start using "Chat lingos" in E-mails, documents and even in conversation.
c) Urge to be online (on chat) all the times. ( I used to be online 24 * 7 few years back).
d) Always feel like talking to someone. (Hardly you get this someone in real life listening to all
our blabbering.)
And now you know, why I hardly able to Blog. Everytime I pledge, I fail to deliver henceforth I want my fingers do the talking(hehehehe!!).
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Cup full of Tea !!!
Zen story Courtesy : reemus.blogspot.com
Here we are going to have a ZEN story which I happen to come across from reemus' blog.
The story goes as under,
Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.
Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring.
The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"
"Like this cup," Nan-in said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?"
I had come across different version of the same story a decade ago. Despite that when I went through this Zen story again, It again opened many doors and also brought back fresh memories of my first encounter with Zen (Mahayana Buddhism).
Here we are going to have a ZEN story which I happen to come across from reemus' blog.
The story goes as under,
Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.
Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring.
The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"
"Like this cup," Nan-in said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?"
I had come across different version of the same story a decade ago. Despite that when I went through this Zen story again, It again opened many doors and also brought back fresh memories of my first encounter with Zen (Mahayana Buddhism).
As a student of philosophy in early 90's, I was asked to read "Ancient Greek philosophy" , "Modern philosophy" and "Indian philosophy". Under Buddhism, I was introduced to Zen.
Initially, Zen for me like an untamed horse and becoming a ring master was nevertheless an easy task. But in due course, I happen to understand that "We are programmed to think...." as J.Krishnamurthy writes in one of his book "Network of thoughts",which actually means "our thought process is very much controlled" but Zen on the other hand promotes free and intuitive thinking,which is entirely different perspective from what we are programmed to perceive.
And Coming back to this story, It helped me to change my perception and approach towards anything that I come across. "Clean Slate approach" we may call it. It helped me to be Non-Judgemental [Judge not, thy shall be judged - Bible] and free from prejudice . It helped me to look at things "as-is" without taking a note of my "pre-conceived" ideas.
Moreover, my understanding is that anything that we see,look,sense and hear are just DATA and this collection of DATA when collated and correlated forms to be an Information, if this information processed, you know what follows from there. One must have understood [I take the liberty of presuming this] that unless and until received information processed with odds in our mind [should we call it a Database as well], our action/reaction w.r.t that data/information not initiated.
I would simply say "Its all in our MIND" so be mindful of your mind, it is just an simplistic view of what we are discussing so far.
Esse Est percipi - To be is to be perceived.we shall discuss more on this "Perception factor" in detail later as well.
your comments and views are always welcome !
Marriage and Anniversary !!
Hi Everybody ! I must admit that I am married to a girl who managed to live with me for an year now (Hmm...I think I need to ensure my wife never visits my blog!). Yes ! today is my First Marriage anniversary.
Marriage perceived by many in many different ways !. Anniversaries for many a happier moment and for some its just another day!.
AFAIK, these days most of the relationships are under pressure from varous quarters. I know of few of my friends who keep complaining about their marriages broken or at the verge of breaking.
I perceive some of the following reasons as strong contenders which obviously if not attended properly and with much attention surely to rift any relationship.
Marriage perceived by many in many different ways !. Anniversaries for many a happier moment and for some its just another day!.
AFAIK, these days most of the relationships are under pressure from varous quarters. I know of few of my friends who keep complaining about their marriages broken or at the verge of breaking.
I perceive some of the following reasons as strong contenders which obviously if not attended properly and with much attention surely to rift any relationship.
- Expectations (spouse, parents, family and other relations)
- Communication Gap
- Lack of Love and interest with spouse/partner (psychologically first, physically next, sexually last)
- Noncommital
- External pressures (Job,finance, kith and kins)
Recently, I came across few cases of my friends whose marriages have gone to the level of divorce in a short span of "one plus years". Ironically, they all have "new born baby" as a witness of their marriages.
I happen to deal with one of these cases who is my close friend. In his case, the boy and a girl were willing to live together (although girl had certain demands to be met which my friend was willing to adjust) while her parents weren't ready for the same.Boy was under financial crisis during the rift, however Boy's father was ready to support him financially until he gets stabilized.
Marriage is really a social responsibility. Surely one must admit that the perception of female and male about everything is totally differnt. Male and female approach a problem from totally different perspective.we must also admit that even though we may live as "husband and wife" under a single roof, we are two different biological beings altogether having our own feelings, emotions, sentiments, convictions etc.
Does marriage means that either of us have to give away their true identity (Generally, its women who are victimized!) for the sake of it?. Does it mean that one has to always sacrifice while the other would just enjoy the benefit?. Does it mean that both a boy and a girl have to give up what they were and start a fresh and new life for themselves?.
What is more important? A boy and a girl living together happily or making their parents happy?. Is there any marriage which has never been into troubled waters?. Even those who have married after years of loving each other, don't they fight among themselves?.
Whether having conflicts of interest and confrontation with spouse is real bad for marriage?.Can 't these conflicts and confrontations coexist in a happy relationship?. Who is at fault in any crumbling marriage relationship?. whom do we blame?. Is it as perceived by many that women as these days feel independent and self-reliant, they tend to act smart in marriage?.Or else is it that a 'patriarchal society' which is crumbling and is at fault?.
Any comment and insights !
"Blessed are those who are not married for they havn't seen the hell yet" and
"Very blessed are those who are married for they are privileged to be in heaven".
Friday, November 16, 2007
Another Gujarat in making - Nandigram
Believe all might be aware of recent "nandigram" incidents. CPI (M) has stormed the village with rifles and have recaptured it.
We had witnessed similar Govt patronized incidents in Gujarat. 'Best Bakery' case one of the cases which took large portion of news in local news paper all over india and in some foreign medias as well. Recent string operation by Tehalka revealed how people holding high posts in government patronized the violence.
Now, there is another 'govt sponspored violent activity happening in nandigram' as well. Its no better than Gurajat. Recent reports reveals that CPI(M) cadres have taken law in their hands and keeping nandigram under their control in spite of CRPF's presense in that locality.
Reports also clearly reveals how POLICE was kept away from the site of violence and to large extend they were kept as silent spectators.
Eventually, one tends to think what is happening in india.
We had witnessed similar Govt patronized incidents in Gujarat. 'Best Bakery' case one of the cases which took large portion of news in local news paper all over india and in some foreign medias as well. Recent string operation by Tehalka revealed how people holding high posts in government patronized the violence.
Now, there is another 'govt sponspored violent activity happening in nandigram' as well. Its no better than Gurajat. Recent reports reveals that CPI(M) cadres have taken law in their hands and keeping nandigram under their control in spite of CRPF's presense in that locality.
Reports also clearly reveals how POLICE was kept away from the site of violence and to large extend they were kept as silent spectators.
Eventually, one tends to think what is happening in india.
- What Federal Govt doing?.
- Is it trying take political milage on this issue?.
- Will there be any reason for Left now agreeing for allowing india to go ahead with NUKE deal negotiations with IAEA?.
- Why Left have to change their stand on N-deal all of a sudden?.
- If you observe keenly, they changed their stand exactly a day after CPI(M) caders stormed Nandigram and re-captured?.
- What BJP doing now?.
- Is it that BJP has already lost the moral ground of question this rampage by CPI(M) Cadres?.
A rudimentary question that I keep asking myself,
-- Is this all about Politics?.
-- Do politicians have rights to play with this innocent lives for want of political milage or
anything for that matter?.
What are we doing as citizens of India?.
Will I be oppressing people , if I get a chance to be having power to do that?.
Does it seem to be ODD because I am looking at this incident from a third eye?.
Is there any who can clear my mind of all this?. Am I suppose to acknowledge this existence of 'necessary evil' and live with it?.
What am i expected to do? (please ask yourself).
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Stressed out - Try this
Is there anyone who never felt being stressed out?.
Is there anyone who never felt being depressed?.
psychologist suggest we need to de-stress ourselves by letting our emotions (mostly consider having negative energy) out by some means.
Anger - is one of such emotions. havn't you ever felt like slapping others, when they poke your anger?.
There are different techniques being practiced across the world to let the anger go out of ourselves.
I suppose recently there was an article as well as News on TV about a Hotel which let people volunteer to break the walls with Hammer. There were more than required volunteers to do the job.
And most of us, would have either practiced or atleast heard of this simple technique of "counting upto 10 or 100" when feel angry. Some suggest people to give fist to pillows as long as they feel relieved.
And here we give a simple Tool to handle STRESS and ANGER.
Try SLAPPING this guy (volunteered himself) as much as you can, as hard as you can.
Let us know the results, whether your anger, stress subsided.
Is there anyone who never felt being depressed?.
psychologist suggest we need to de-stress ourselves by letting our emotions (mostly consider having negative energy) out by some means.
Anger - is one of such emotions. havn't you ever felt like slapping others, when they poke your anger?.
There are different techniques being practiced across the world to let the anger go out of ourselves.
I suppose recently there was an article as well as News on TV about a Hotel which let people volunteer to break the walls with Hammer. There were more than required volunteers to do the job.
And most of us, would have either practiced or atleast heard of this simple technique of "counting upto 10 or 100" when feel angry. Some suggest people to give fist to pillows as long as they feel relieved.
And here we give a simple Tool to handle STRESS and ANGER.
Try SLAPPING this guy (volunteered himself) as much as you can, as hard as you can.
Let us know the results, whether your anger, stress subsided.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Betrayal of Innocense - Cont
I am making slow progress in reading this book. Book is light but the subject dealt is really heavy to make any quick progress.
There are a lot of things, I want to put it on this blog from the book (Excerpts from the book).Author's approach on the subject is totally different from what I expected to be.
It wasn't very dry nor it wasn't very erotic either.
Author has her own 'realistic definition' of what is INCEST. Interestingly, Author herself is a victim of the subject she dealing with. That makes, this book more special and interesting. Hardly people admit it to be published on a book. I like her guts to disclose it. she has her own reason for doing it.
Being a psychotherapist,if she persuvades people to come out of their shell and accept and admit that they are victims, if she hides the truth about herself behind her professional life, it seriously raises a question of INTEGRITY.
Let me go through the entire book, and come back to you, readers with what I have learned. Until them allow me to take sometime on this subject.
There are a lot of things, I want to put it on this blog from the book (Excerpts from the book).Author's approach on the subject is totally different from what I expected to be.
It wasn't very dry nor it wasn't very erotic either.
Author has her own 'realistic definition' of what is INCEST. Interestingly, Author herself is a victim of the subject she dealing with. That makes, this book more special and interesting. Hardly people admit it to be published on a book. I like her guts to disclose it. she has her own reason for doing it.
Being a psychotherapist,if she persuvades people to come out of their shell and accept and admit that they are victims, if she hides the truth about herself behind her professional life, it seriously raises a question of INTEGRITY.
Let me go through the entire book, and come back to you, readers with what I have learned. Until them allow me to take sometime on this subject.
conversation with Mr.X - Living for NOW and AS IS.
Today, I happen to meet with Mr.X. I prefer to call him Mr.X, because he feel he has an Identity crisis. (Who on earth hasn't come across this Identity Crisis in their life?).
In real sense, I used to meet him almost everyday for past month, but today I came to know that I wasn't meeting his TRUE self but per him it was his projected image.How many of us have guts to accept this fact that we most of the times project our images to other than our true self?. (Hence, Readers are requested to treat this meeting of mine as FIRST MEETING).
We happened to meet on a usual place where we have coffee. Normally, 'a lot can happen over a coffee' .
He is usually looks dull, even for a joke he usually manages to smile a little. I would say, todays meeting with him helped me to know some area of myself as well.
I must admit that he has guts to accept things that is happening in his part of world.How many times do I have accepted things AS IS?. He was emphasising more on "Living NOW".
'Living for NOW' is a good concept per se.But how one can practice it?. we are entangled with 'our own school of thoughts' based on the information/data we collect from various souces, we tend to be judgemental about anything and everything we come across.
We feel analysing each and every event/situation would redeem us from the misery/impending danger we feel we might face. We believe in "cause and effect" theory of KARMA,which always carries our PAST with us.
Who on earth can tell this "PAST is past, past is dead, dead is buried and lets move on with LIFE". But Mr.X was telling me that he lives neither in the past nor in future, but each moment of NOW. He also admitted that its not everytime he could succeed. what you say? Do you want me to believe him? do you believe him?.
When asked about techniques he uses, he says "detach yourself" from everything. See things from outside. don't you feel all this words well said than done. How do one detach from everything?. In absolute sense, it is really impossible, a herculean task.
Why am I talking/writing about Mr.X?. How all this things relate to me?. Is it because the feeling of "I am not alone" feeling makes me to write?.
Albeit, I wasn't agreeing with whatever he said. I could feel that he had few valid points.
* When someone talks/converse with you with HEART, you could feel the same in your heart.
* Everybody present their Projected Image to others instead of TRUE self.
* Concept of SIN is spoiling the mind of people.
* Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful present one can give to other people.
I shall be posting some of the interesting things he shared with me. they are all unbelievable real life incidents as per Mr.X. Allow me sometime to post them.
I have more things to tell 'taking Mr.X as a sample'. All real life incidents.
In real sense, I used to meet him almost everyday for past month, but today I came to know that I wasn't meeting his TRUE self but per him it was his projected image.How many of us have guts to accept this fact that we most of the times project our images to other than our true self?. (Hence, Readers are requested to treat this meeting of mine as FIRST MEETING).
We happened to meet on a usual place where we have coffee. Normally, 'a lot can happen over a coffee' .
He is usually looks dull, even for a joke he usually manages to smile a little. I would say, todays meeting with him helped me to know some area of myself as well.
I must admit that he has guts to accept things that is happening in his part of world.How many times do I have accepted things AS IS?. He was emphasising more on "Living NOW".
'Living for NOW' is a good concept per se.But how one can practice it?. we are entangled with 'our own school of thoughts' based on the information/data we collect from various souces, we tend to be judgemental about anything and everything we come across.
We feel analysing each and every event/situation would redeem us from the misery/impending danger we feel we might face. We believe in "cause and effect" theory of KARMA,which always carries our PAST with us.
Who on earth can tell this "PAST is past, past is dead, dead is buried and lets move on with LIFE". But Mr.X was telling me that he lives neither in the past nor in future, but each moment of NOW. He also admitted that its not everytime he could succeed. what you say? Do you want me to believe him? do you believe him?.
When asked about techniques he uses, he says "detach yourself" from everything. See things from outside. don't you feel all this words well said than done. How do one detach from everything?. In absolute sense, it is really impossible, a herculean task.
Why am I talking/writing about Mr.X?. How all this things relate to me?. Is it because the feeling of "I am not alone" feeling makes me to write?.
Albeit, I wasn't agreeing with whatever he said. I could feel that he had few valid points.
* When someone talks/converse with you with HEART, you could feel the same in your heart.
* Everybody present their Projected Image to others instead of TRUE self.
* Concept of SIN is spoiling the mind of people.
* Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful present one can give to other people.
I shall be posting some of the interesting things he shared with me. they are all unbelievable real life incidents as per Mr.X. Allow me sometime to post them.
I have more things to tell 'taking Mr.X as a sample'. All real life incidents.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Betrayal of innocence
Currently, I am reading a book on "incest", a betrayal of innocence.
It is published in 1978 by a clinical psychologist, mostly covers US patients..hmm let me not call them patients but they are all victims.
I personally have come across few victims who have confided this to me, It is not only female who is always a victim but it is otherwise too. If you happen to talk to any of this victims, you will find them to be very fragile, low in self-esteem, feel inferior, feel they are nothing in this world.
It is not only the betrayal of innocence but its always betrayal of TRUST, LOVE etc. It is more of "trying to belong others sexually" makes all the difference in this kind of relationship.
I am not psychologist to do a research in india....But as for as I come to know, it is alarmingly raising in india too.
Someone dealing with "Clinical psychology" can help us understand all the aspect of it. I am trying to comprehend atleast a little from the perspective of a victim from what i am reading in the book.
I shall try my best to share what I have learned.
It is published in 1978 by a clinical psychologist, mostly covers US patients..hmm let me not call them patients but they are all victims.
I personally have come across few victims who have confided this to me, It is not only female who is always a victim but it is otherwise too. If you happen to talk to any of this victims, you will find them to be very fragile, low in self-esteem, feel inferior, feel they are nothing in this world.
It is not only the betrayal of innocence but its always betrayal of TRUST, LOVE etc. It is more of "trying to belong others sexually" makes all the difference in this kind of relationship.
I am not psychologist to do a research in india....But as for as I come to know, it is alarmingly raising in india too.
Someone dealing with "Clinical psychology" can help us understand all the aspect of it. I am trying to comprehend atleast a little from the perspective of a victim from what i am reading in the book.
I shall try my best to share what I have learned.
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