"I have a dream" - Martin Luther King

Please pay attention to his speech..how well it is constructed.

GOD and RELIGION - Can it be?

Here are some of the videos that would hopefully enhance readers' idea of GOD.

GOD and RELIGION created

Who GOD is?

SILENCE - Poem

I hereby planning to present some of the poems written my friend in coming posts as well.

I enjoy birds chirping in the silence of dawn

I listen to the conscience in the silence of my mind

I watch snow flakes in the silence of night

I hear your voice in the silence of my heart!

Justice suffers in the silence of truth

Death occurs in the silence of life

Peace surrounds you in the silence of thoughts

Love blossoms in the silence of hearts!

Wounded heart is longing for silence

Tired of waiting for the loved one in vain

Show the path where there is no pain

All I ask for the eternal silence!

இன்றைய குறள் - தெரிந்து தெளிதல்

தேரான் தெளிவும் தெளிந்தான்கண் ஐயுறவும்

தீரா இடும்பை தரும் அதிகாரம் : தெரிந்து தெளிதல்

பொருள் : ஒருவரை ஆராயாமல் நம்புதலும், ஆராய்ந்து நம்பிக்கை வைத்தவனை சந்தேகப்படுதலும் ஒருவருக்கு நீங்காத துன்பத்தை கொடுக்கும்.

விளக்கம் : நாம் முன்னைய பதிவிலே இக்குறள் போன்றதொரு "நாலடியார்" பாடல் ஒன்றை பார்த்து இருந்தோம். நாலடியார் பாடலுக்கும் இக்குறளுக்கும் இடையில் பல வேறுபாடுகள் உள்ளதை வாசகர்கள் மிகவும் இலகுவாக கண்டு பிடித்து இருப்பீர்கள்.
நாலடியார் "நாம் நம்பி பழகிய ஒருவரை குற்றமுள்ளவராக பின்னர் அறிய நேர்ந்தாலும், அவர் குற்றம் பொறுத்து கொள்தல் நலம்" என நமக்கு அறிவுறுத்துகிறதேயொழிய இதனால் கேடு நேரும் என்று சொல்லவே இல்லை.
ஆனால் திருக்குறள் "ஒருவரை நம்புவது ஒரு சாதரண விஷயம் இல்லை என்பதில் மிகத் தெளிவாக இருக்கிறது" யாரையும் நம்புவதற்கும் முன்னர் "ஆராய்ந்து" நம்புதல் வேண்டும். "ஆராய்ந்து" என்பதிலும் திருக்குறள் நாலடியார் போலல்லாமல் நம்மை மிகவும் "தேர்ந்து தெளிதல் வேண்டும்" என்கிறது. அவ்வாறு "தேர்ந்து தெளிந்து" கண்டுகொண்ட ஒருவரை நாமே "சந்தேகித்தல்" என்பது யாருடைய குற்றம்?. அவ்வாறு நாம் சந்தேகித்தால் நமக்கு "கேடு" விழையும் என்பதில் ஏதேனும் சந்தேகம் உண்டோ? . திருக்குறள் இதில் நாலடியாரை விட மிக ஆழமான பார்வையைத் தருகிறது இல்லையா?.

உங்களின் கருத்துக்களை பதிவு செய்யுங்கள்.

The Art of War - Sun Tzu

Some excerpts from the book 'The art of War", Finding that this is applicable not only in war,but every walks of life in current competitive world.

• War is a matter of Life and Death, a road either to safety or to ruin
• According as circumstances are favourable, one should modify one's plans.
• All warfare is based on deception
• when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.
• Hold our baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him.
• Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected.
• To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excelllence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting.
• To secure ourselves against defear lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defearing the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.
• The Good fighter is able to secure himself against defear, but cannot make certain of defeating the enemy.
• In all fighting, the direct method may be used for joining battle, but indirect methods will be needed in order to secure victory.
• The good fighter will be terrible in his onset, and prompt in his decision.
• The clever combatant imposes his will on the enemy, but does not allow the enemy's will to be imposed on him.
• The spot where we intend to fight must not be made known; for then the enemy will have to prepare against a possible attack at several different points.
• Rouse him, and learn the principle of his activity or inactivity. Force him to reveal himself, so as to find out his vulnerable spots.
• All men can see the tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved.
• Do not repear the tactics which have gained you one victory, but let your methods be regulated by the infinite variety of circumstances.
• So in war, the way is to avoid what is strong and to strike at what is weak.
• Just as water retains no constant shape, so in warfare there are no constant conditions.
• One cannot enter into alliances until we are acquainted with the designs of our neighbours.
• In war, practice dissimulation, and you will succeed.
• When you surround an army, leave an outlet free. Do not press a desperate foe too hard.
• Peace proposals unaccompanied by a sworn covenant indicate a plot.
• He who exercises no forethought but makes light of his opponents is sure to be captured by them.
• If you know the enemy and know yourself, your victory will not stand in doubt.
• The principle on which to manage an army is to set up one standard of courage which all must reach.
• It is the business of a general to be quiet and thus ensure secrecy; upright and just, and thus maintain order.
• Success in warfare is gained by carefully accommodating ourselves to the enemy's purpose.
• The enlightened ruler lays his plans well ahead; the good general cultivates his resources.
• Knowledge of the enemy's dispositions can only be obtained from other men.
• Be subtle! Be subtle ! and use your spies for every kind of business.

வாழ்க்கை - காதல், ஓடிப்போதல், கல்யாணம் - (பாகம் ஒன்று)

"இது என்னுடைய முதல் தமிழ் பதிப்பு, தயைகூர்ந்து பிற மொழி படிப்பாளர்கள் பொறுத்து அருளுங்கள் "

-- This is my first post in TAMIL, other language readers please bear with me

என்னுரை

"காதல்", "ஓடிப்போதல்,"கல்யாணம் " பற்றி எழுதுவது என்று முடிவு செய்தாகிவிட்டது, ஆனால் எங்கிருந்து துவங்குவது பற்றி இன்னும் சரியாக முடிவு செய்யவில்லை. கதையை எங்கேயாவது துவங்கித்தானே ஆக வேண்டியுள்ளது. ஆரம்பத்தைப் பிடித்து விட்டால் மற்றவை தன் பாட்டுக்குப் பின்னாலே வந்து விட போகிறது. இல்லையா ??. கதையைப் போலத்தான் காதலும்னு நினைக்கிறேன். ஆரம்பிக்கிறது அவ்வளவு சுலபம் இல்லைதானோ?. ம்ம்ம்... கல்யாணம்? சிந்திக்க வேண்டிய கேள்வி தான்?. சரி பார்க்கலாம், நாம் எங்கே ஆரம்பிச்சு எங்கே முடிக்கிறோம்னுk...


காதலும் கதை மாதிரிதான்னு நினைக்கிறேன், எங்கேயோ எப்படியோ மனதில் முளை விட்டு, வேர்விட்டு ,மரமாகி, படாத பாடு படுத்திவிடுது மனதையும் மனிதரையும். காதல் என்னவோ கதைகளில் படிக்கும் போதும், பிறர் சொல்ல கேட்கும் போதும் நன்றாகத் தான் இருக்கிறது.


காதல், கல்யாணம் பற்றி எழுதுவதால், நான் காதலுக்கும், கல்யாணத்துக்கும் நண்பனும் இல்லை, எதிரியும் இல்லை, மனதில் பட்டதை எழுதி விடலாமே என்ற எண்ணமே மேலோங்கியதால் உள்ளே விழைவே இது. எது எப்படியாகிலும் எழுதத் தழைப்பட்ட பின்னே பின்வாங்கலாமா, எழுத நினைத்ததை எழுதி விடலாமே. எழுதலாமே !!!

காதல் பண்ணுகிற எவரும் இதனால் உந்தப்பட்டு காதல் மற்றும் கல்யாணம் பண்ணுவதை கைவிட்டு விட்டால் அதற்கு யாரை பொறுப்பேற்க வைப்பது ?. காதலையும் கல்யாணத்தையும் விட இதுவே மிகப்பெரிய பிரச்சனையாக இருக்கும் போல் தெரியுது. இது இப்போதைக்கு ஒரு பக்கமாக இருக்கட்டும். சரி நாம் பேச வேண்டிய விஷயத்துக்குப் போவோம்.

ஹ்ம்ம் ....உள்ளேசரி இப்போ நாம் உள்ளதை உள்ளபடியே சொல்லி விடலாமா? இல்லை கூட்டிக் குறைத்து சுவை மிக சொல்லலாமா? ஐயகோ! இதென்ன என் நிலை இப்படி ஆகிடுச்சே? ஏன் என்னால் இப்படி ஒரு முடிவு எடுக்க முடியவில்லை. அதுவும் காதல் பற்றி எழுதுவதிலேயேவா இப்படி? பின் காதல் புரிந்து ஓடிப்போகும் நிலை வந்தால் நான் என்னதான் செய்வேனோ? கடவுளே !! (வேறே யாரைத்தான் கூப்பிட நான்?) இப்படி நான் இருந்தால் யார் தான் என்னை காதலிக்கத் துணிவார்? . இவ்வாறு இருந்தால் ஏன் என்னை ஒருவர் காதலிக்க வேண்டும், பின்னர் கஷ்டப்பட வேண்டும்?.

' சுய புராணத்தில்' என்னமோ நான் ஒரு வகையில் ' சுயம்பு' தான். 'சுயம்' விடுத்து செல்வோமா உள்ளே? ...

Life Lessons - 1 COST OF PROCRASTINATION

'Procrastination' is a WORD which never will be erased/forgotten from my 'historic' life in coming days. You may find this word in each and every sentence or paragraph written about me. [Ha ha in a way its my dream that someone would actually write about me].

I am very much known for this habit of mine. How many times did I try and how serious did I try in getting rid of this habit,It just sticks to me like a parasite and sure enough to be patronised by me and me alone everytime. History tells that I have always helped it survive in my life.

Readers must not be misled over the above statement that I am actually unaware of this 'unhealthy' habit. Statistically speaking (It is worth giving some figures to impress people) 10 out of 7.5 cases,I am fully aware of me getting late or in other words, I could feel Time sliping away under my feet.

Should there be a contest and If you are in search of finding a "worlds most Laziest and lethargic person" never have a second thought but to contact me better in person than other means (Beware! you may get a reply very late,if contacted even via phone). Should I promise to win you prizes. Now to real Lesson!!

Recently, I had been to my native (For past few months I am shutting between my current location and my native).

This is was the day I suppose to travel back to my workplace. (This is a normal schedule,when in native)

4.00 AM - Deep sleep (snoring) [ information courtesy : My wife (I am married huh) ]

5.00 AM - Still Asleep ( I know because, I havn't got up yet) :)

6.00 AM - Half Sleep (Aware of something happening around me,but donno what).

7.00 AM - I am getting up (its TEA time buddy) [Sorry !! I am still dreaming in bed]

8.00 AM - Donno what I did actually.

Daily routine at home starts NOW (whenever I am home)

8:42 AM - Sun rises from EAST and I raise from my DREAM,finally from BED.

9:30 AM - Early morning walk on the roadside.

10:00AM - Meet with friends in neighbouring village. (i walk).

10:30 AM - Early morning TEA and Tiffin (vada*5,ponda*3,pajji*3).

11:00 AM - Wait until someone pays the bill (otherwise, pay from pocket )

DECIDED to meet them on my way back in evening.

12:00 AM - Back Home for morning Breakfast.

12:05 PM - Inform people at home that I start today.

12:30 PM- Wait for Lunch (Unfortunately, Its lunch time already)

01:00 PM - still waiting (try to kill time by talking to wife)

01:45 PM - Lunch is ready but have to wait for all family members to join.

02:00 PM - Have final Lunch at home for that trip (do some justice by having stomach full )

02:05 PM - Declare 'I will be moving by 3pm exactly from home so that can board 9pm bus.

02:15 PM - Go to bed (after having stomach full,how do you expect me to move around?)

02:45 PM - Deep sleep.

02:50 PM - Wife wakes up. Snooze again.

03:10 PM - Wife again wakes up. Get up slowly and stedily (win the race??? ).I lambast wife
for waking me up very late.

03:25 PM - Get ready , get blessings from parents. (Mom everytime I start never forget to
remind me not to hang around anywhere but to reach the destination on time.I
defy all the times.)
FYI,

Usually,I have a habit of not booking my tickets but occasionally I do [only book tickets if available online! Techsavvy huh :)] and one of such rare occasion was this that I had booked my return ticket to workplace. It was a private bus supposed to start by 9pm at night. I suppose to report them at 8.30pm (why am I taking pains in giving exact timings! May be I am improving in time management? ).It is 14 hours travel by bus to my workplace and I have to commute atleast by 4 buses to reach my workplace (10 hrs + 30-50 mins + 2 - 3 hours + 1 hr) all at the mercy of Drivers and I was living 4+ hours travel away from private bus station.

03:30PM - Wait for the bus (I am already 10 mins in advance for the bus to arrive.bus
supposed to arrive by 3:40PM)

03:50 PM - Bus finally arrives. (Apply one of Murphy's Laws here!)

04:00PM - Friends are waiting for me and they wave towards me (Its an indication, to alight
from bus, moreover,Its not good to brake once promises to others)

04: 30 PM - We reach another friend's house,whose marriage is in trouble. (Friend in need is
Friend indeed).

05:00 PM - Friends mom serves TEA to everyone (savings for the day :3 Rs).

05:05 PM - I inform friends that I suppose catch my 9pm bus in Madurai.

05:06 PM - My friend assures me that he can leave me in my town so I can catch a 1-1 bus
to madurai, which takes just 2 hours to reach.

05:06 PM - I am sure, I have enough time.Not to worry now.

05:30 PM - We finally decided,Its the right time to start by 2-Wheeler.

05:35 PM - My friend and me reach local bus stand and I insist I want to have vada,ponda
(Evening tiffin cannot be missed,anyway).

05:45PM - Start towards my town in short cut so as to catch 6PM.I am hopeful I can board
the bus.

06:03PM - Reach town bus station, to find 1-1 bus already moving. chase to catch the bus.
Bus left without stopping anywhere. (Saved almost 40 mins of travel time from
by using 2-wheeler, happy ? ).
06:15 PM - Back again to town bus station. A bus starts. I board the bus finally.

06:15PM - Start calculating different "permutation combinations" in mind.

Calculations :
--------------
If the bus takes usual 3 hrs to reach Madurai (mattuthavani bus-stand) what to do next?
- Catch an auto to Periyar bus station?
- Or try KSRTC buses to Bangalore?
- Or should I inform collegue that reaching office tomorrow is difficult,hence I would be
WFH?
- Should I get down in ring road and catch a bus to periyar so i can save around 10 mins?.
- why not give a call to Travels requesting them to wait for 15 mins?.
What If reaches in 2.30 hrs?.
- Again same questions popping-up.

06:45 PM - Reached Paramakudi (Ah ! Driver seems to be driving on time!!)

06:50 PM - Calling Travels informing them that i am supposed to report there by 8.30PM,
but i am reaching there but 10/15 mins late.
Travel Agent other side tells bus is on time [usually bus never on time,I was
counting on that until now, after hearing that started feeling nervous] ( please do
remember to apply Murphy's law here).

Again Started calculations as I have additional 5 mins in hand(count the EGGs on your hand,before......) ,

Re-Calculations :

- Wished that the bus reaches Ringroad cross within 2 hrs or atleast 2.15 hrs.

- Wished that I get a connecting bus to periyar immediately after alighing.

(Wishes never becomes a reality unless otherwise other factors work-out in your favour)

07:15 PM - Reached parthibanur, bus was late almost by 10 mins already.

07:30 PM - Manamadurai (now, Driver spotted a pazhani bus,which he wanted to overtake
and started a race) Race begins.

08:30 PM - Reach Thirupuvanam - spotted a City-bus to periyar ahead, a ray of hope)

08:40PM - Reach Ring-Road, its a best option to alight since spotted already connecting
city-bus to periyar.

08:40PM - Hmm..Not able to control, bladder about to blast, already worried,while easing
myself what if i miss the city-bus, finally half-finshed (che che, this jeans
pant !!!,please do remember working of Murphy's Law here again) run towards
the city-bus which started already, finally boarded)

[Remember have only 25 mins to board]

08:45PM - Inquire co-passenger, how long this city-bus would take to reach periyar.
Ensured that it would reach less than half hour.

08:50 PM - Call Travels to inform that Will they wait for till 09:05PM as assured earlier.

- Bus caught on Traffic Jam near EastVeli Street.

Calculations :

- What to do next if miss the bus?.

- Is it possible to reach Mattuthavani before 9:30PM to try my luck with KSRTC?

- Should I head towards Arapalayam,so that i can get a bus to Salem?.

- Started calculating when can I reach office in all probability?.

08:58PM - Meanwhile, realize bus almost entering periyar bus station, Just Jump out and
run towards Travels.

09:00PM - WoW ! I am in bus on Time !!! hmm..Should I worry about anything.

09:03 PM - Call Friends to tell that I am on time to board the bus.

COST OF PROCRASTINATION - Hmm...Nothing.just few calculations, and re-calculations. Anything else that i am missing.

Its a Tensionless LIFE anyway. :)

09:10 PM - Hmm..donno (I must be sleeping).

NOTE : Hmm...I think I am improving a lot from "Time Management" aspect.

Chat , Blogs and I

Most of the times, when I am away from my computer, I feel like blogging a lot. Topics and subjects on which I should be writing flood my mind aplenty.

But, the moment I connect to Internet, I totally forget opening this blog, instead as usual I open YM and get lost with someone online. Not only do I lose my mind but my precious time as well. This habit of mine tests me mostly in trying times.

When I head home from office, I usually have a long list of "to do" items, but reaching home all I do is to connect to I-Net and get connected to world (YM) and get lost with the crowd.

Whenever I try to curb this habit of mine, I feel it tries to overpower me and mostly accomplishes its tasks successfully. After the act, it usually ends up feeling guilty about not doing anything productively.

As usual, I did an autopsy of this habit of mine which started when I was doing my PG. Then,Those days, I used to feel lonely , Moreover,all those subjects and the way subjects were being handled in my departments never interest me.

My classmates over that time were very busy establishing their "Identity" in the department. I felt as if the rush to handle "Identity crisis" immediately. "Identity" was keep hunting and haunting me. There was no place to hide. Besides that back at home, there were problems which need to be addressed. Apart from financial constraints, It was more of peak rivalry between 'brothers and sisters' ( BTW, I have only two younger brothers) for their inheritance. I had to step in to get a possible solution and we did it successfully (atleast it seemed it was OK to do that time).

So all these eventually came on me in the form of "Depression". I was looking for safe heaven and same came in the form of "Internet" in General Library. I must also admit that I was regular in bunking classes and labs. I hardly remember me working in lab more than a month in my entire term in Department. Its not that I am 'dyslexic' , but if you considered in the world of computers, I was and still I am.

'Library Internet' was my "Second life", this is where I started bridging the gap between me and Computer to manageable level. It allowed me to explore myself, stretch myself to the limit. Using Internet effectively (for what purpose?) is one of my objective even today. One of the adventures in Internet was "Getting a chat friend" that too if it was a "Girl" from other country (usually english speaking nation) was a great accomplishment. I had an accomplice who helped in getting to know the details of Internet ( I bought a book on this subject written in my vernacular).

Chatting back then was real fun. I used to talk on various subjects from sex to spiritual (Sex not equal to cybersex,Shall deal with this subject later) with more than 10 people at a time. I sometime wonder,How did I manage 10 people at a time talking in different subjects?. I will be fully concentrating on "Chatting", nothing more nothing less.

Following are some benefits of chatting,

1. Helped hiding my real Identity in the cyber world.

2. No Identity crisis unlike faced in real world.

3. Shelter for my hurt EGO.

4. Improve my Typing and Communication skills.

5. Made few very good friends and well wishers.

6. Helped in opening up myself out of depression. (Beware! It usually doesn't ).

7. Helped in understanding 'Human psychology' (Believe it or not, It did).


Following are some of my losses,

1. Lost lot of my precious TIME.

2. Lost lot of money.

3. Lost Identity (Ironically, Its true, there is identity crisis in cyber world as well).

4. Multiple Personality disorder (Beware! Surely leads to split personality).

5. Not everybody there is going to be REAL friends.

6. Easy to fall a prey of cyber crimes.

Chatting when it becomes a addiction is very difficult to come out unless otherwise with a help of professional counselors/psychiatrists. Someone tend to lead a "Illusionary life", only few escape and understand the ground reality.

Some of the ways in which you can identify, whether you are addicted,

a) Every now and then refresh the chat screen and look for 'online' friends.

b) If you start using "Chat lingos" in E-mails, documents and even in conversation.

c) Urge to be online (on chat) all the times. ( I used to be online 24 * 7 few years back).

d) Always feel like talking to someone. (Hardly you get this someone in real life listening to all
our blabbering.)

And now you know, why I hardly able to Blog. Everytime I pledge, I fail to deliver henceforth I want my fingers do the talking(hehehehe!!).

Cup full of Tea !!!

Zen story Courtesy : reemus.blogspot.com

Here we are going to have a ZEN story which I happen to come across from reemus' blog.

The story goes as under,


Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.


Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring.


The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"


"Like this cup," Nan-in said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?"


I had come across different version of the same story a decade ago. Despite that when I went through this Zen story again, It again opened many doors and also brought back fresh memories of my first encounter with Zen (Mahayana Buddhism).

As a student of philosophy in early 90's, I was asked to read "Ancient Greek philosophy" , "Modern philosophy" and "Indian philosophy". Under Buddhism, I was introduced to Zen.

Initially, Zen for me like an untamed horse and becoming a ring master was nevertheless an easy task. But in due course, I happen to understand that "We are programmed to think...." as J.Krishnamurthy writes in one of his book "Network of thoughts",which actually means "our thought process is very much controlled" but Zen on the other hand promotes free and intuitive thinking,which is entirely different perspective from what we are programmed to perceive.

And Coming back to this story, It helped me to change my perception and approach towards anything that I come across. "Clean Slate approach" we may call it. It helped me to be Non-Judgemental [Judge not, thy shall be judged - Bible] and free from prejudice . It helped me to look at things "as-is" without taking a note of my "pre-conceived" ideas.

Moreover, my understanding is that anything that we see,look,sense and hear are just DATA and this collection of DATA when collated and correlated forms to be an Information, if this information processed, you know what follows from there. One must have understood [I take the liberty of presuming this] that unless and until received information processed with odds in our mind [should we call it a Database as well], our action/reaction w.r.t that data/information not initiated.

I would simply say "Its all in our MIND" so be mindful of your mind, it is just an simplistic view of what we are discussing so far.

Esse Est percipi - To be is to be perceived.we shall discuss more on this "Perception factor" in detail later as well.

your comments and views are always welcome !

Marriage and Anniversary !!

Hi Everybody ! I must admit that I am married to a girl who managed to live with me for an year now (Hmm...I think I need to ensure my wife never visits my blog!). Yes ! today is my First Marriage anniversary.

Marriage perceived by many in many different ways !. Anniversaries for many a happier moment and for some its just another day!.

AFAIK, these days most of the relationships are under pressure from varous quarters. I know of few of my friends who keep complaining about their marriages broken or at the verge of breaking.

I perceive some of the following reasons as strong contenders which obviously if not attended properly and with much attention surely to rift any relationship.

1. Expectations (spouse, parents, family and other relations)
2. Communication Gap
3. Lack of Love and interest with spouse/partner (psychologically first, physically next, sexually last)
4. Noncommital
5. External pressures (Job,finance, kith and kins)

Recently, I came across few cases of my friends whose marriages have gone to the level of divorce in a short span of "one plus years". Ironically, they all have "new born baby" as a witness of their marriages.

I happen to deal with one of these cases who is my close friend. In his case, the boy and a girl were willing to live together (although girl had certain demands to be met which my friend was willing to adjust) while her parents weren't ready for the same.Boy was under financial crisis during the rift, however Boy's father was ready to support him financially until he gets stabilized.

Marriage is really a social responsibility. Surely one must admit that the perception of female and male about everything is totally differnt. Male and female approach a problem from totally different perspective.we must also admit that even though we may live as "husband and wife" under a single roof, we are two different biological beings altogether having our own feelings, emotions, sentiments, convictions etc.

Does marriage means that either of us have to give away their true identity (Generally, its women who are victimized!) for the sake of it?. Does it mean that one has to always sacrifice while the other would just enjoy the benefit?. Does it mean that both a boy and a girl have to give up what they were and start a fresh and new life for themselves?.

What is more important? A boy and a girl living together happily or making their parents happy?. Is there any marriage which has never been into troubled waters?. Even those who have married after years of loving each other, don't they fight among themselves?.

Whether having conflicts of interest and confrontation with spouse is real bad for marriage?.Can 't these conflicts and confrontations coexist in a happy relationship?. Who is at fault in any crumbling marriage relationship?. whom do we blame?. Is it as perceived by many that women as these days feel independent and self-reliant, they tend to act smart in marriage?.Or else is it that a 'patriarchal society' which is crumbling and is at fault?.

Any comment and insights !

"Blessed are those who are not married for they havn't seen the hell yet" and

"Very blessed are those who are married for they are privileged to be in heaven".

conversation with Mr.X - Living for NOW and AS IS.

Today, I happen to meet with Mr.X. I prefer to call him Mr.X, because he feel he has an Identity crisis. (Who on earth hasn't come across this Identity Crisis in their life?).

In real sense, I used to meet him almost everyday for past month, but today I came to know that I wasn't meeting his TRUE self but per him it was his projected image.How many of us have guts to accept this fact that we most of the times project our images to other than our true self?. (Hence, Readers are requested to treat this meeting of mine as FIRST MEETING).

We happened to meet on a usual place where we have coffee. Normally, 'a lot can happen over a coffee' .

He is usually looks dull, even for a joke he usually manages to smile a little. I would say, todays meeting with him helped me to know some area of myself as well.

I must admit that he has guts to accept things that is happening in his part of world.How many times do I have accepted things AS IS?. He was emphasising more on "Living NOW".

'Living for NOW' is a good concept per se.But how one can practice it?. we are entangled with 'our own school of thoughts' based on the information/data we collect from various souces, we tend to be judgemental about anything and everything we come across.

We feel analysing each and every event/situation would redeem us from the misery/impending danger we feel we might face. We believe in "cause and effect" theory of KARMA,which always carries our PAST with us.

Who on earth can tell this "PAST is past, past is dead, dead is buried and lets move on with LIFE". But Mr.X was telling me that he lives neither in the past nor in future, but each moment of NOW. He also admitted that its not everytime he could succeed. what you say? Do you want me to believe him? do you believe him?.

When asked about techniques he uses, he says "detach yourself" from everything. See things from outside. don't you feel all this words well said than done. How do one detach from everything?. In absolute sense, it is really impossible, a herculean task.

Why am I talking/writing about Mr.X?. How all this things relate to me?. Is it because the feeling of "I am not alone" feeling makes me to write?.

Albeit, I wasn't agreeing with whatever he said. I could feel that he had few valid points.

* When someone talks/converse with you with HEART, you could feel the same in your heart.

* Everybody present their Projected Image to others instead of TRUE self.

* Concept of SIN is spoiling the mind of people.

* Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful present one can give to other people.

I shall be posting some of the interesting things he shared with me. they are all unbelievable real life incidents as per Mr.X. Allow me sometime to post them.

I have more things to tell 'taking Mr.X as a sample'. All real life incidents.

ethnography (Digital world).

Ethnography - The branch of anthropology that provides
scientific description of individual human societies.

Anthropology - The Social Science that studies the origins and social
relationships of human beings.

Social Science - The brance of Science that studies society and the
relationships of individual within a society.

Science - A particular branch of scientific knowledge.


Don't be puzzled seeing all these words of definition. I am not a student of anthropology but the one who is interested in knowing "relationship of human beings/individuals within society".

As I was surfing the Internet, I was strucked by this clip which dealt with "Digital ethnography" (Dudes interested in Web 2.0 may want to have a look at this link).

We soon be talking about "Society" as conceived by Plato,Aristotle,Augustine, Aquinas,Immanuel Kant, Rene Descardes and Jean paul sartre.

Why not we take a contemporary view of our society?. We will try our best to cover that aspect as well.