Deadly Birthday to remember for life - Hilarious

This is from one of the forwards I received.

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparentthat we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home fromwork. Since I lived in the countryside, I called my husband and told himthat I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by asmall diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand.

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by thetime I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew it, Ihad consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival,my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling Ihave a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to mychair at the dinner table.

I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephonerang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned andwent to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure wasbecoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room Iseized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. Itwas not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over askunk in front of a pulpwood mill.

I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then,shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worsethan stinking cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversationin the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.

The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewellssignaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more timeswith my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feelingvery relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through theblindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seatedaround the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I nearly died!

Recent activities

I have resolved to do something productive in using the time available to me by reading books and articles,watching movies etc.

Following topics got my attention,

1. Nuclear Deal (India,US,China and rest of the world's perspective)
2. Fidel Castro
3. Che guevara
4. LTTE and Tamil Eelam
5. Nokia
6. Who Will cry when you die? (self-help book)
7. How to reduce expenses?. (Not at all useful in indian context)
8. Pregnancy and Normal birth.
9. Practical Cryptography
10. Sherlock Holmes.
11. Naan Saravanan, Vidya (livingsmile vidya's book)
12. Thirukkural.
13. Ayngurunooru

Besides, I also invested my time in watching movies, Recently watched movies,

1. I am Legend
2. Tom N Jerry
3. The Departed
4. Final Destination
5. Bourne Identity
6. Enemy at the gates
7. Dhasaavadhaaram (Tamil)
8. Pandy (Tamil)
9. If it rains again (Tamil documentary)
10. Partner (Hindi)

படித்ததால் பிடித்தது - நாலடியார் பாடல்

சமீபத்தில் ஆறாம் வகுப்பு தமிழ் புத்தகம் ஒன்றை புரட்ட நேர்ந்தது, எவ்வாறு தற்போதைய பாட புத்தகங்கள் உள்ளன என்ற ஆவல் முன்னேயுந்த புரட்டியதால் ஏற்பட்ட விளைவே இந்த பதிவு.
பாடல் (ஞாபகத்தில் உள்ள வரிகளே இங்கு , தவறுகள் இருக்க வாய்ப்புகள் உண்டு )
நல்லார் எனத்தான் நனிசெய்து கொண்டாரை
அல்லார் எனினும் அடக்கிக்கொளால் வேண்டும்
நெல்லுக் குமியுண்டு நீருக்கு நுரையுண்டு
புல்லிதழ் பூவிற்குமுண்டு
( யாரேனும் இப்பாடலுக்கு அர்த்தம் சொல்ல முயன்றால் நலமாய் இருக்குமே? இல்லையேல் நானே இந்த பதிவில் பின்னர் பதிவு செய்கிறேன்.)
பொருள் :
நல்லவர் என நாம் ஒருவரை நினைத்து அவருடன் நன்கு பழகி வரும்போது ஒரு சில நேரங்களில் அவர்களிடம் உள்ள சில கெட்ட பழக்கங்களைப் பார்க்க நேரிடலாம். அவ்வாறு நாம் காணக்கூடிய தருணங்களில் அவர்களை பற்றி நமது கருத்துக்களை மாற்ற வேண்டிய தருணம் வந்துவிட்டதாக நினைத்து அவர்களை கெட்டவர்கள் எனப்புரிந்து கொள்ளலாம். ஆனால், நாம் அவ்வாறு நினைப்பதற்கு முன்பு பின்வருவனவற்றை நமது மனதில் இருத்தி நினைத்தோமேயானால் அவர்களை தவறாக நினைப்பதற்கு பதிலாக உலக நியதியை புரிந்து கொள்ள இயலும்.
நெல்லுக்கு இருக்கும் உமி போன்றும் ,நீருக்கு இருக்கும் நுரை போன்றும், பூவில் இருக்கும் வாசமில்லா இதழ் போன்றும், மனிதர்களிடமும் ஒரு சில குறை கண்டால் அதனை நாம் பொருத்துக்கொள்ளலே நலம்.

Customer Care (CITI BANK) - Personal Identity Verification over phone

Today I happened to call CITI BANK Customer for some reasons as stated below, I had placed two requests for which I was verified Two times on a SAME Call made to Customer Care.

Following is the mail sent on to indiaservice@citicorp.com, according to the Executive this mail id will be accessed by managers. Readers may use this id to highlight their grievances to managers of CITI BANK Customer Care Services.

Follows the mail sent to Customer Care ( indiaservice@citicorp.com ).

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Hi,

Good Morning!!!

Today I happened to call CitiBank Customer Care for Reversal of one of the transactions I mistakenly made on 24/Jul/2008.

Executive who answered was Ms.Kamatchi Egambaram, I appreciate her for her patience and polite in answering to questions.

As a process, she verified my Account Details and personal details before taking my request of reversal. Upon verification we proceeded with the reversal request (Ref No : 77XX8). She further suggested me to go for TPIN facility and requested me to apply for the same using

Netbanking account of mine. I inquired whether is it possible for her to place a request on my behalf with her affirmation we proceeded.

But, here again as a process she wanted me to Verify my details again, which really a ridiculous thing as for as I as a User is concerned.For me, I had already been verified and hence we proceeded with the request (Ref No : 77XX8),

verifying again it means,

• Previous verification on a same call wasn't taken into account.
• If that is so, is it that every new requests being made on the same call to Bank treated as FRESH CALL and mandate a verification each time.
• If EACH REQUEST is treated as FRESH, why would your Executive has to say "Is there anything that I could help you further?". Is it being said just for the sake of it?.
• How many REQUESTs can a customer place in a call with your Executive?.
• How many times a customer is expected to verify himself/herself in a call with your Executive?.

Although I managed to place TPIN request (Ref no : 71XX37XX2), I was really intrigued and irked about this OBVIOUSLY STRANGE SECURITY PROCESS followed in Citi bank.

Requesting bank to review this process as it is unnecessary and repetitive and would save plentity of time and money for both Bank and Customer.

Awaiting to hear from you.

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Have any such stories to tell about Customer Care (in general) please do mail to the following E-mail ID : jacob.mba.blog@blogger.com

CREDIT CARD FRAUD - Recent Real story

This is a real story from Bangalore,India. Person who was a victim works for WIPRO deputed in CISCO, Marathahalli, Bangalore.

Now, to this E-mail sent by her, for safety reasons here we are not divulging her name.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last weekend I was a victim of a Credit Card Fraud.

Luckily for me I had activated the option of receiving email notifications each time the credit limit on my card crossed a certain value or percentage(eg: 25%, 50%, etc)

On Monday (June 23rd) I saw one such notification saying that the transactions on my card had crossed the credit limit. Since I had not swiped my card for any such high value transactions, I checked with my bank and found that my card was used to make some 10-12 online transactions by some unscrupulous persons to the tune of 1.2 Lakhs!

I found from my bank that someone had used my card during the weekend(Sat June 21st and Sun Jun 22nd) to buy Air Line Tickets, when the card was very much with me during the weekend. Myself and my husband and some friends immediately swung into action and contacted each of the 5 respective Air Lines to find out that all the flights had been taken in the weekend and some 30-40 people had happily traveled all overIndia(Kolkatta, Bangalore, Mumbai, Delhi, Indore etc etc) on my credit card. Luckily for us, one flight from Kolkatta was arriving to Bangalore on Monday (June 23rd).

I went to one police station, to lodge an FIR but they directed us to Airport Police.(FIR has to be launched from the location where the crime has been committed, since this is online, they were not sure ..we also did not have too much time, since the flight was landing on the same day itself.).

We requested the Airlines to allow the passengers to travel to Banagalore and drove down to the Devanahalli Airport. Along with the Airport Police we were able to nab 4 people (1 guy managed to escape) who traveled with my credit card. Then we brought them to the city police station at 10 in the night and they were questioned (I guess you all know how). After 1.5 days tension, explanations, requests,influences, blames and threats we were able to finally lodge an FIR.This has been submitted to the bank for further investigation for 45 days. Hopefully, I do not have to pay the 1.2 lakhs( I just hope).

On questioning, the arrested guys said that they had no clue about any credit card and had paid an agent to arrange for tickets and deliver them home. 1 guy spilt the beans about a local agent in Bangalore who used the Credit Card details to buy these tickets online. Still the case is under investigation as it is looks like a huge chain.

But the question is How Did This Agent Get The Card Details when I have'nt transacted ever with this agent???

Online Air ticket booking does not need any verification, like other transactions. We just need to give the card number, CVV number and Expiry date of the card.

I recalled having used the card in the previous week for Shopping at two malls and at a Restaurant. We give out our card to the waiter/cashier and all he has to do is to memorize your 3 digit CVV number. At one suchplace when I gave my card to be swiped, the CVV # (which is a last 3digit # found on the back of the card) was noted down/memorised by the cashier / waiter/God knows who. The card # and expiry date of the card anyways shows up on the transaction slip.

I heard form some people that the CVV #, Expiry Date and Card # is sold to Credit Card Fraudsters for as low as Rs. 100/- to 200/-!! (Can you believe it!!!!)

Some Steps to Protect Yourself from Credit Card Fraud

• Check you Credit Card Statements regularly
• Check with your bank if you have an option to receive email /SMS notifications for High Value Transactions. If available, activate the same.Look at the back of your card and see if the CVV # is mentioned. If yes,note it elsewhere and Score it off with a permanent marker from yourcard
• Sign your cards as soon as they arrive.
• Carry your cards separately from your wallet, in a zippered compartment, a business card holder, or another small pouch.
• Keep a record of your account numbers, their expiration dates,and the phone number and address of each company in a secure place.
• Keep an eye on your card during the transaction, and get it back as quickly as possible. In restaurants, we send the card in the folder with the waiter. And finally when you are thinking of how to save for the flight tickets for your next vacation with the family, someone else is happily flying places on your card. And then finally you end up paying for someone else's vacation, and cancel yours.
• DON'T Sign a blank receipt. When you sign a receipt, draw a line through any blank spaces above the total.

Although credit card fraud is certainly on the rise -- and credit card fraud on the Internet is rising even more dramatically -- many savvyInternet shoppers know that the reality is that it's actually much safer to enter your credit card number on a secure online order form than it is to give your credit card to a waiter at a restaurant.

After all, what's to stop the waiter from writing down your credit card number and then selling the details for a mere 200/-.

If you think that this happens to others, its NOT true. YOU May be the next victim!

Hence, removing the CVV number from your card is much better than going through this mess, risks and tensions. I hope you learn from my experience rather than wait to experience it yourself. The pain offeeling cheated and then the risks and tension involved is really horrible.

-------------------------------

Please be careful and prudent in using your credit cards. To minimize the risks, always go for Credit Cards having manageable minimal amount definitely not in lakhs.

NOTE : This e-mail is posted as is received from the sender, no addition, deletion been done to the content.

The Art of War - Sun Tzu

Some excerpts from the book 'The art of War", Finding that this is applicable not only in war,but every walks of life in current competitive world.

• War is a matter of Life and Death, a road either to safety or to ruin
• According as circumstances are favourable, one should modify one's plans.
• All warfare is based on deception
• when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.
• Hold our baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him.
• Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected.
• To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excelllence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting.
• To secure ourselves against defear lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defearing the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.
• The Good fighter is able to secure himself against defear, but cannot make certain of defeating the enemy.
• In all fighting, the direct method may be used for joining battle, but indirect methods will be needed in order to secure victory.
• The good fighter will be terrible in his onset, and prompt in his decision.
• The clever combatant imposes his will on the enemy, but does not allow the enemy's will to be imposed on him.
• The spot where we intend to fight must not be made known; for then the enemy will have to prepare against a possible attack at several different points.
• Rouse him, and learn the principle of his activity or inactivity. Force him to reveal himself, so as to find out his vulnerable spots.
• All men can see the tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved.
• Do not repear the tactics which have gained you one victory, but let your methods be regulated by the infinite variety of circumstances.
• So in war, the way is to avoid what is strong and to strike at what is weak.
• Just as water retains no constant shape, so in warfare there are no constant conditions.
• One cannot enter into alliances until we are acquainted with the designs of our neighbours.
• In war, practice dissimulation, and you will succeed.
• When you surround an army, leave an outlet free. Do not press a desperate foe too hard.
• Peace proposals unaccompanied by a sworn covenant indicate a plot.
• He who exercises no forethought but makes light of his opponents is sure to be captured by them.
• If you know the enemy and know yourself, your victory will not stand in doubt.
• The principle on which to manage an army is to set up one standard of courage which all must reach.
• It is the business of a general to be quiet and thus ensure secrecy; upright and just, and thus maintain order.
• Success in warfare is gained by carefully accommodating ourselves to the enemy's purpose.
• The enlightened ruler lays his plans well ahead; the good general cultivates his resources.
• Knowledge of the enemy's dispositions can only be obtained from other men.
• Be subtle! Be subtle ! and use your spies for every kind of business.

வாழ்க்கை - காதல், ஓடிப்போதல், கல்யாணம் - (பாகம் ஒன்று)

"இது என்னுடைய முதல் தமிழ் பதிப்பு, தயைகூர்ந்து பிற மொழி படிப்பாளர்கள் பொறுத்து அருளுங்கள் "

-- This is my first post in TAMIL, other language readers please bear with me

என்னுரை

"காதல்", "ஓடிப்போதல்,"கல்யாணம் " பற்றி எழுதுவது என்று முடிவு செய்தாகிவிட்டது, ஆனால் எங்கிருந்து துவங்குவது பற்றி இன்னும் சரியாக முடிவு செய்யவில்லை. கதையை எங்கேயாவது துவங்கித்தானே ஆக வேண்டியுள்ளது. ஆரம்பத்தைப் பிடித்து விட்டால் மற்றவை தன் பாட்டுக்குப் பின்னாலே வந்து விட போகிறது. இல்லையா ??. கதையைப் போலத்தான் காதலும்னு நினைக்கிறேன். ஆரம்பிக்கிறது அவ்வளவு சுலபம் இல்லைதானோ?. ம்ம்ம்... கல்யாணம்? சிந்திக்க வேண்டிய கேள்வி தான்?. சரி பார்க்கலாம், நாம் எங்கே ஆரம்பிச்சு எங்கே முடிக்கிறோம்னுk...


காதலும் கதை மாதிரிதான்னு நினைக்கிறேன், எங்கேயோ எப்படியோ மனதில் முளை விட்டு, வேர்விட்டு ,மரமாகி, படாத பாடு படுத்திவிடுது மனதையும் மனிதரையும். காதல் என்னவோ கதைகளில் படிக்கும் போதும், பிறர் சொல்ல கேட்கும் போதும் நன்றாகத் தான் இருக்கிறது.


காதல், கல்யாணம் பற்றி எழுதுவதால், நான் காதலுக்கும், கல்யாணத்துக்கும் நண்பனும் இல்லை, எதிரியும் இல்லை, மனதில் பட்டதை எழுதி விடலாமே என்ற எண்ணமே மேலோங்கியதால் உள்ளே விழைவே இது. எது எப்படியாகிலும் எழுதத் தழைப்பட்ட பின்னே பின்வாங்கலாமா, எழுத நினைத்ததை எழுதி விடலாமே. எழுதலாமே !!!

காதல் பண்ணுகிற எவரும் இதனால் உந்தப்பட்டு காதல் மற்றும் கல்யாணம் பண்ணுவதை கைவிட்டு விட்டால் அதற்கு யாரை பொறுப்பேற்க வைப்பது ?. காதலையும் கல்யாணத்தையும் விட இதுவே மிகப்பெரிய பிரச்சனையாக இருக்கும் போல் தெரியுது. இது இப்போதைக்கு ஒரு பக்கமாக இருக்கட்டும். சரி நாம் பேச வேண்டிய விஷயத்துக்குப் போவோம்.

ஹ்ம்ம் ....உள்ளேசரி இப்போ நாம் உள்ளதை உள்ளபடியே சொல்லி விடலாமா? இல்லை கூட்டிக் குறைத்து சுவை மிக சொல்லலாமா? ஐயகோ! இதென்ன என் நிலை இப்படி ஆகிடுச்சே? ஏன் என்னால் இப்படி ஒரு முடிவு எடுக்க முடியவில்லை. அதுவும் காதல் பற்றி எழுதுவதிலேயேவா இப்படி? பின் காதல் புரிந்து ஓடிப்போகும் நிலை வந்தால் நான் என்னதான் செய்வேனோ? கடவுளே !! (வேறே யாரைத்தான் கூப்பிட நான்?) இப்படி நான் இருந்தால் யார் தான் என்னை காதலிக்கத் துணிவார்? . இவ்வாறு இருந்தால் ஏன் என்னை ஒருவர் காதலிக்க வேண்டும், பின்னர் கஷ்டப்பட வேண்டும்?.

' சுய புராணத்தில்' என்னமோ நான் ஒரு வகையில் ' சுயம்பு' தான். 'சுயம்' விடுத்து செல்வோமா உள்ளே? ...