Showing posts with label Fun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fun. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Friday, November 13, 2009
Friday, October 3, 2008
குரங்கு சேட்டை
குரங்கு சேட்டைன்னு குரங்கு சேட்டைன்னு கேள்விப்பட்டு இருப்பீங்க , குரங்கு சேட்டை பண்ணினா எப்படி இருக்கும்னு பார்த்து இருக்கீங்களா? அதுவும் புலி கூட சேட்டை பண்றதை...ஹ்ம்ம் இங்கே பாருங்க..
இனிமே யாராவது உங்களைப் பார்த்து "குரங்கு சேட்டை" பண்றதா சொன்னா,
என்ன பண்றதா உத்தேசம்? ஹ்ம்ம்...அப்படியே இங்கே பார்த்ததே செய்ஞ்சு காமிசுடுங்கேனு சொல்லுறேன்...எப்படி?
இனிமே யாராவது உங்களைப் பார்த்து "குரங்கு சேட்டை" பண்றதா சொன்னா,
என்ன பண்றதா உத்தேசம்? ஹ்ம்ம்...அப்படியே இங்கே பார்த்ததே செய்ஞ்சு காமிசுடுங்கேனு சொல்லுறேன்...எப்படி?
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Interesting Point of View
A married couple was enjoying a dinner out when a statuesque blondewalked over to their table, exchanged warm greetings with the husband,and walked off. "Who was that?" the wife demanded.
"If you must know," the husband replied, "that was my mistress." "Yourmistress? That's it! I want a divorce!" the wife fumed.
The husband looked her straight in the eye and said, "Are you sure youwant to give up our big house in the suburbs, your Mercedes, your furs,your jewelry, and our vacation home in Mexico?"
For a long time they continued dining in silence. Finally, the womannudged her husband and said, "Isn't that Howard over there? Who's hewith?"
"That's HIS mistress," her husband replied.
"Hmmph..." she said, taking a bite of dessert. "Ours is much cuter."
------------------
There are lot of POINTS and VIEWS....:)
"If you must know," the husband replied, "that was my mistress." "Yourmistress? That's it! I want a divorce!" the wife fumed.
The husband looked her straight in the eye and said, "Are you sure youwant to give up our big house in the suburbs, your Mercedes, your furs,your jewelry, and our vacation home in Mexico?"
For a long time they continued dining in silence. Finally, the womannudged her husband and said, "Isn't that Howard over there? Who's hewith?"
"That's HIS mistress," her husband replied.
"Hmmph..." she said, taking a bite of dessert. "Ours is much cuter."
------------------
There are lot of POINTS and VIEWS....:)
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
India in Beijing Olympics
Recently, I had mailed to one of the journalists in india, this journalist has over 30 years of experience and currently owns a publishing house in Delhi.
Below is one of such mail exchanges between us.
Mail : Kul to Me
Hello,
Mera Bharat Mahan but India has won 17 Olympic medals in the last 60 years. During the last Olympics, India could get just one silver medal. For an article on India's medal hopes in the Beijing Olympics…
-- In your opinion, how many medals can India win in Beijing?
-- In which sports can Indians hope for medals? Shooting, archery, wrestling, weight lifting….any others?
-- Has your interest in Beijing Olympics decreased since India did not qualify for hockey?
-- Why does India perform so poorly at Olympics?
Looking forward to your response and please include the country you live in.
Cheers,
Kul.
Mail : Me to Kul
Really didn't expect a mail from you...Nice to hear from you. Its also really nice to have you posted some questions for me to answer. Basically, Olympics always attracts me, but I never ever look forward india to win medals in current conditions ( I have learn to live without expectiontions, thanks to our sports men and women).
India as a country can produce many sports personalities who can keep our PRIDE/FLAG HIGH...but somehow we fail because of "SELECTION PROCESS" and "POLITICKING EACH AND EVERY PROCESS INVOLVED IN GROOMING AND SELECTING SPORTS MEN AND WOMEN IN OUR COUNTRY". If one keenly observes schools, one might admit that we fail to inject "SPORTIVE" mentality in our kids. We want our kids to land in "HIGH PAYING" jobs...currently it is SOFTWARE INDUSTRY (IT), in which everybody wants to put their hands,legs and everything on.
Coming to your questions,
- In your opinion, how many medals can India win in Beijing?
- GOLD - 0 (ABSOLUTE ZERO)
- SILVER - 2 ( I would be surprised if get more than TWO)
- BRONZE - 6
My Maximum expection of medals is not more than 10 ( If there is any other than Gold,silver and bronze, probably few more can be expected) 55 member squad having 44 support members, getting around 10 medals can't it be treated as GREAT ACHIEVEMENT....
- In which sports can Indians hope for medals? Shooting, archery, wrestling, weight lifting.... any others?.
Shooting, Tennis, Boxing, swimming (new team,hopes are on), archery...
P.S: I think, Weightlifter Monica L Devi couldn't join the squad because she tested positive.
- Has your interests in Beijing Olympics decreased since india did not qualify for hockey?.
Gymnastics which fascinates me in Olympics...all small girls performing before huge audience, simply superb. Why aren't we produce even a single gymnast in all these years?.
In reality, Beijing Olympics getting lot of attention because of ALL WRONG REASONS...I suppose, Visitors to China wasn't great as expected by them...
- Why does India perform so poorly at Olympics?.
Following can be cited as reasons for the same,
- Poor sports environment.
- No Encouragement from Parents, Governments and society.
- Poor formation process from grass-root level.
- Politicking in every stage of selection process.
I am currently living in BANGALORE, INDIA.
If you don't mind, may i know where you hail from and where do you live now?.
Thanks,
Cogito Ergo Sum
--------------------------------------------
Urging readers to come up with their own version of ANSWERs to Kul's questions.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Does it sound Too Funny?
Content courtesy : Partha ,FMR India
1.
Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present..
Its just that,
One loves too much,
and
The other loves too many...
2.
Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the company..!
3.
Philosophy of life
At the begining of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!
4.
Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer"
No Wonder why so many of us arespeechless when Bossesask questions..!
5.
Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!
6.
After reading the form filled by an applicant..
The employer said: " WE do have an opening for you..!
Applicant: What is it?Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"
7.
A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employee... .....
Leave them to us...
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Deadly Birthday to remember for life - Hilarious
This is from one of the forwards I received.
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparentthat we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home fromwork. Since I lived in the countryside, I called my husband and told himthat I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by asmall diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand.
With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by thetime I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew it, Ihad consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival,my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling Ihave a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to mychair at the dinner table.
I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephonerang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned andwent to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure wasbecoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room Iseized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. Itwas not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over askunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then,shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worsethan stinking cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversationin the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewellssignaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more timeswith my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feelingvery relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through theblindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seatedaround the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
I nearly died!
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparentthat we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home fromwork. Since I lived in the countryside, I called my husband and told himthat I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by asmall diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand.
With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by thetime I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew it, Ihad consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival,my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling Ihave a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to mychair at the dinner table.
I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephonerang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned andwent to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure wasbecoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room Iseized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. Itwas not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over askunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then,shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worsethan stinking cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversationin the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewellssignaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more timeswith my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feelingvery relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through theblindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seatedaround the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
I nearly died!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
வாழ்க்கை - காதல், ஓடிப்போதல், கல்யாணம் - (பாகம் ஒன்று)
"இது என்னுடைய முதல் தமிழ் பதிப்பு, தயைகூர்ந்து பிற மொழி படிப்பாளர்கள் பொறுத்து அருளுங்கள் "
-- This is my first post in TAMIL, other language readers please bear with me
என்னுரை
"காதல்", "ஓடிப்போதல்,"கல்யாணம் " பற்றி எழுதுவது என்று முடிவு செய்தாகிவிட்டது, ஆனால் எங்கிருந்து துவங்குவது பற்றி இன்னும் சரியாக முடிவு செய்யவில்லை. கதையை எங்கேயாவது துவங்கித்தானே ஆக வேண்டியுள்ளது. ஆரம்பத்தைப் பிடித்து விட்டால் மற்றவை தன் பாட்டுக்குப் பின்னாலே வந்து விட போகிறது. இல்லையா ??. கதையைப் போலத்தான் காதலும்னு நினைக்கிறேன். ஆரம்பிக்கிறது அவ்வளவு சுலபம் இல்லைதானோ?. ம்ம்ம்... கல்யாணம்? சிந்திக்க வேண்டிய கேள்வி தான்?. சரி பார்க்கலாம், நாம் எங்கே ஆரம்பிச்சு எங்கே முடிக்கிறோம்னுk...
காதலும் கதை மாதிரிதான்னு நினைக்கிறேன், எங்கேயோ எப்படியோ மனதில் முளை விட்டு, வேர்விட்டு ,மரமாகி, படாத பாடு படுத்திவிடுது மனதையும் மனிதரையும். காதல் என்னவோ கதைகளில் படிக்கும் போதும், பிறர் சொல்ல கேட்கும் போதும் நன்றாகத் தான் இருக்கிறது.
காதல், கல்யாணம் பற்றி எழுதுவதால், நான் காதலுக்கும், கல்யாணத்துக்கும் நண்பனும் இல்லை, எதிரியும் இல்லை, மனதில் பட்டதை எழுதி விடலாமே என்ற எண்ணமே மேலோங்கியதால் உள்ளே விழைவே இது. எது எப்படியாகிலும் எழுதத் தழைப்பட்ட பின்னே பின்வாங்கலாமா, எழுத நினைத்ததை எழுதி விடலாமே. எழுதலாமே !!!
காதல் பண்ணுகிற எவரும் இதனால் உந்தப்பட்டு காதல் மற்றும் கல்யாணம் பண்ணுவதை கைவிட்டு விட்டால் அதற்கு யாரை பொறுப்பேற்க வைப்பது ?. காதலையும் கல்யாணத்தையும் விட இதுவே மிகப்பெரிய பிரச்சனையாக இருக்கும் போல் தெரியுது. இது இப்போதைக்கு ஒரு பக்கமாக இருக்கட்டும். சரி நாம் பேச வேண்டிய விஷயத்துக்குப் போவோம்.
ஹ்ம்ம் ....உள்ளேசரி இப்போ நாம் உள்ளதை உள்ளபடியே சொல்லி விடலாமா? இல்லை கூட்டிக் குறைத்து சுவை மிக சொல்லலாமா? ஐயகோ! இதென்ன என் நிலை இப்படி ஆகிடுச்சே? ஏன் என்னால் இப்படி ஒரு முடிவு எடுக்க முடியவில்லை. அதுவும் காதல் பற்றி எழுதுவதிலேயேவா இப்படி? பின் காதல் புரிந்து ஓடிப்போகும் நிலை வந்தால் நான் என்னதான் செய்வேனோ? கடவுளே !! (வேறே யாரைத்தான் கூப்பிட நான்?) இப்படி நான் இருந்தால் யார் தான் என்னை காதலிக்கத் துணிவார்? . இவ்வாறு இருந்தால் ஏன் என்னை ஒருவர் காதலிக்க வேண்டும், பின்னர் கஷ்டப்பட வேண்டும்?.
' சுய புராணத்தில்' என்னமோ நான் ஒரு வகையில் ' சுயம்பு' தான். 'சுயம்' விடுத்து செல்வோமா உள்ளே? ...
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Sex : transgenders and Sex-workers - Discussion
I would like to thank VijayTV for initiating this discussion on a media. I think the society slowly would understand things in the right way.
I always welcome any healthy discussion on any topics. Readers interested to hear this discussion, please do visit the following link.
http://www.thiraivirunthu.com/video/ipadikku-rose-episode-3/
I am not here endorsing anything that has been discussed but rightly endorse the initiative and courage of these participants in this discussion.Its really a welcome initiative from a media.This show is run by a transgender called "ROSE",that is also a real welcome move from TV media.
My association with transgender happened by reading a "novel written in one of the famous tamil weekly ananda vikatan in early 90's ". A novel written fully about transgender by su.samuthiram, readers if get a chance can read that novel (vadamalli). As a teen age boy, I was fully taken by that novel and shocked to know in entirety the state of these people who could neither live like MALE or FEMALE. I invite readers just to imagine what if they happen to be one among them. don't be surprised that I used to medidate on this and started believe i am becoming one. I still could feel the pain of being a transgender and being treated indifferently by the society.
Like ROSE there are many transgenders who lead somewhat decent life, but not everybody is fortunate enough to live a decent life. Everyone of them undergo highly humiliating moment in their life, thank God, they face them in one of the other way.if that is a case with transgenders in the society, one could understand the life of SEX workers. probably we fail to treat "people as people" or is it that "we fail to realize that we are human".
Whatever It may be, I welcome this initiative by ROSE to bring REAL SEX WORKERS on the show. If you carefully watch the show, you would realize there were two REAL sex workers one among them was willingly became sex worker as she liked this life-style as she says,whilst the other was forced by society. We all have our own reasons to live in LIFE.
Wish everybody realize their role and live their life happily.
your comments are always welcome.
I always welcome any healthy discussion on any topics. Readers interested to hear this discussion, please do visit the following link.
http://www.thiraivirunthu.com/video/ipadikku-rose-episode-3/
I am not here endorsing anything that has been discussed but rightly endorse the initiative and courage of these participants in this discussion.Its really a welcome initiative from a media.This show is run by a transgender called "ROSE",that is also a real welcome move from TV media.
My association with transgender happened by reading a "novel written in one of the famous tamil weekly ananda vikatan in early 90's ". A novel written fully about transgender by su.samuthiram, readers if get a chance can read that novel (vadamalli). As a teen age boy, I was fully taken by that novel and shocked to know in entirety the state of these people who could neither live like MALE or FEMALE. I invite readers just to imagine what if they happen to be one among them. don't be surprised that I used to medidate on this and started believe i am becoming one. I still could feel the pain of being a transgender and being treated indifferently by the society.
Like ROSE there are many transgenders who lead somewhat decent life, but not everybody is fortunate enough to live a decent life. Everyone of them undergo highly humiliating moment in their life, thank God, they face them in one of the other way.if that is a case with transgenders in the society, one could understand the life of SEX workers. probably we fail to treat "people as people" or is it that "we fail to realize that we are human".
Whatever It may be, I welcome this initiative by ROSE to bring REAL SEX WORKERS on the show. If you carefully watch the show, you would realize there were two REAL sex workers one among them was willingly became sex worker as she liked this life-style as she says,whilst the other was forced by society. We all have our own reasons to live in LIFE.
Wish everybody realize their role and live their life happily.
your comments are always welcome.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
SMS - Use to win hearts
SMS - Use to win real good friends and wellwishers.
You must be a good runner because you are always running in my mind,
You must be a good theif because you have stolen my heart,
and I am always a bad shooter because
I Miss you always...
Friendship is like a glass handle it with care
Because once broken cannot be mended
and even if mended...
a crack is always there!!!
When Nights are long & Friends are few,
I sit by my window & think of you.
A silent whisper a silent tear.
With all my heart I wish you were here.
When I open my eyes every morning I pray to God
that everyone should have a friend like you...
why should only I suffer !!! ha ha ha
When the time comes for you to give your heart to someone,
make sure that you select someone who will never break your heart
coz broken hearts have no spare parts.
Most people walk in and out of your life,
but only FRIENDS leave footprints in your heart.
Good FRIENDS are hard to find,
harder to leave,
and impossible to forget.
Don't frown.
You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
when it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
When you feel sad...
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
"damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness
But don't make this a habit...
Coz liars go to hell !!!
If you love someone, put their name in a circle,
instead of a heart, because hearts can break,
but circles go on forever
To handle yourself, use your head;
To handle others, use your heart.
--To be cont...
You must be a good runner because you are always running in my mind,
You must be a good theif because you have stolen my heart,
and I am always a bad shooter because
I Miss you always...
Friendship is like a glass handle it with care
Because once broken cannot be mended
and even if mended...
a crack is always there!!!
When Nights are long & Friends are few,
I sit by my window & think of you.
A silent whisper a silent tear.
With all my heart I wish you were here.
When I open my eyes every morning I pray to God
that everyone should have a friend like you...
why should only I suffer !!! ha ha ha
When the time comes for you to give your heart to someone,
make sure that you select someone who will never break your heart
coz broken hearts have no spare parts.
Most people walk in and out of your life,
but only FRIENDS leave footprints in your heart.
Good FRIENDS are hard to find,
harder to leave,
and impossible to forget.
Don't frown.
You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
when it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
When you feel sad...
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
"damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness
But don't make this a habit...
Coz liars go to hell !!!
If you love someone, put their name in a circle,
instead of a heart, because hearts can break,
but circles go on forever
To handle yourself, use your head;
To handle others, use your heart.
--To be cont...
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Don't be surprised !
Friends! (hmm people who know me) don't be surprised hearing this news from me.
Yes! I now started reading few Technical Books too. If you would have gone through my recent post, you would find list of technical items planned for next month.
Please be prepared and It should not take you by surprise if you happen to hear few Technical lingos here and there during conversation. Except this change, I believe everything otherwise under control.
You will find me tagged with same attributes viz., lazy, talkative, boring, witty etc. 'Mother of all surprise' is that I have started thinking in terms of doing some Research (Ha ha ha) and that too in the field of Mathematics or Cryptography or Security [IDM-Identity management] or everything combined.
You may feel like pelting me with stone for having said that and you deserve all rights to do as well for everything I have said/promised never turned out to be true.
I would like to promise you all as our Indian Politicians do everyday that this time atleast I do some justice to whatever I am saying and it will be done. Requesting you all to forget about all other promises that I had made.
If I start pursuing my Research then surely its going to be "Mother of All surprises".
People who know me well can comment about it !!! Any takers ???
Yes! I now started reading few Technical Books too. If you would have gone through my recent post, you would find list of technical items planned for next month.
Please be prepared and It should not take you by surprise if you happen to hear few Technical lingos here and there during conversation. Except this change, I believe everything otherwise under control.
You will find me tagged with same attributes viz., lazy, talkative, boring, witty etc. 'Mother of all surprise' is that I have started thinking in terms of doing some Research (Ha ha ha) and that too in the field of Mathematics or Cryptography or Security [IDM-Identity management] or everything combined.
You may feel like pelting me with stone for having said that and you deserve all rights to do as well for everything I have said/promised never turned out to be true.
I would like to promise you all as our Indian Politicians do everyday that this time atleast I do some justice to whatever I am saying and it will be done. Requesting you all to forget about all other promises that I had made.
If I start pursuing my Research then surely its going to be "Mother of All surprises".
People who know me well can comment about it !!! Any takers ???
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Stressed out - Try this
Is there anyone who never felt being stressed out?.
Is there anyone who never felt being depressed?.
psychologist suggest we need to de-stress ourselves by letting our emotions (mostly consider having negative energy) out by some means.
Anger - is one of such emotions. havn't you ever felt like slapping others, when they poke your anger?.
There are different techniques being practiced across the world to let the anger go out of ourselves.
I suppose recently there was an article as well as News on TV about a Hotel which let people volunteer to break the walls with Hammer. There were more than required volunteers to do the job.
And most of us, would have either practiced or atleast heard of this simple technique of "counting upto 10 or 100" when feel angry. Some suggest people to give fist to pillows as long as they feel relieved.
And here we give a simple Tool to handle STRESS and ANGER.
Try SLAPPING this guy (volunteered himself) as much as you can, as hard as you can.
Let us know the results, whether your anger, stress subsided.
Is there anyone who never felt being depressed?.
psychologist suggest we need to de-stress ourselves by letting our emotions (mostly consider having negative energy) out by some means.
Anger - is one of such emotions. havn't you ever felt like slapping others, when they poke your anger?.
There are different techniques being practiced across the world to let the anger go out of ourselves.
I suppose recently there was an article as well as News on TV about a Hotel which let people volunteer to break the walls with Hammer. There were more than required volunteers to do the job.
And most of us, would have either practiced or atleast heard of this simple technique of "counting upto 10 or 100" when feel angry. Some suggest people to give fist to pillows as long as they feel relieved.
And here we give a simple Tool to handle STRESS and ANGER.
Try SLAPPING this guy (volunteered himself) as much as you can, as hard as you can.
Let us know the results, whether your anger, stress subsided.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Doctor - Doctor (Joke)
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Little Johnny - If don't laugh..Can't help
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!" "That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!" "That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, little johnny. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," little johnny answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," he answered.
Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"
Little johnny replied, "A puppy!"
Note: If you have observed keenly in all these 'Little Johnny' jokes carry some message hidden in it.
Readers are welcome to find them and post in comment section...
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!" "That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, little johnny. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," little johnny answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," he answered.
Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"
Little johnny replied, "A puppy!"
Note: If you have observed keenly in all these 'Little Johnny' jokes carry some message hidden in it.
Readers are welcome to find them and post in comment section...
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Little Jonny in kindergarden again with his naughty .....
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out aboutsomething exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.
She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, since he sometimes could be a bit crude.
But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.
Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnnie.
"Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period."
"Damned if I know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one....
Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the guy next door shot himself!"
When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.
She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, since he sometimes could be a bit crude.
But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.
Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnnie.
"Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period."
"Damned if I know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one....
Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the guy next door shot himself!"
Little Johnny in School..
I donno how many like 'Little Johnny' Jokes...here we go with his naughty jokes...
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.
She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Bobby?""Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.""Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard.Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny Billy?"
"Well teacher, I just saw BOTH of your garters."Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, and tells him - "I don't want to see you for three weeks!"
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"And where do you think you are going?" she asks.
"Well teach, from what I just saw, my school days are over!"
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.
She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Bobby?""Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.""Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard.Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny Billy?"
"Well teacher, I just saw BOTH of your garters."Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, and tells him - "I don't want to see you for three weeks!"
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"And where do you think you are going?" she asks.
"Well teach, from what I just saw, my school days are over!"
Employer's Notice - Just a Joke
Dear Employees,
As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.
Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future.Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.
This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company.
SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW.
SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management.
This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).
Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.
If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment).
As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.
Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our:
Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We take pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor.
Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the SHIT you can stand.
And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.
P.S: Mostly, Employers do it unannounced, if announced won't it be like this notice.
As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.
Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future.Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.
This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company.
SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW.
SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management.
This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).
Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.
If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment).
As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.
Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our:
Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We take pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor.
Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the SHIT you can stand.
And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.
P.S: Mostly, Employers do it unannounced, if announced won't it be like this notice.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)