Laugh a while !!

குரங்கு சேட்டை

குரங்கு சேட்டைன்னு குரங்கு சேட்டைன்னு கேள்விப்பட்டு இருப்பீங்க , குரங்கு சேட்டை பண்ணினா எப்படி இருக்கும்னு பார்த்து இருக்கீங்களா? அதுவும் புலி கூட சேட்டை பண்றதை...ஹ்ம்ம் இங்கே பாருங்க..


இனிமே யாராவது உங்களைப் பார்த்து "குரங்கு சேட்டை" பண்றதா சொன்னா,
என்ன பண்றதா உத்தேசம்? ஹ்ம்ம்...அப்படியே இங்கே பார்த்ததே செய்ஞ்சு காமிசுடுங்கேனு சொல்லுறேன்...எப்படி?

Interesting Point of View

A married couple was enjoying a dinner out when a statuesque blondewalked over to their table, exchanged warm greetings with the husband,and walked off. "Who was that?" the wife demanded.

"If you must know," the husband replied, "that was my mistress." "Yourmistress? That's it! I want a divorce!" the wife fumed.

The husband looked her straight in the eye and said, "Are you sure youwant to give up our big house in the suburbs, your Mercedes, your furs,your jewelry, and our vacation home in Mexico?"

For a long time they continued dining in silence. Finally, the womannudged her husband and said, "Isn't that Howard over there? Who's hewith?"

"That's HIS mistress," her husband replied.

"Hmmph..." she said, taking a bite of dessert. "Ours is much cuter."
------------------
There are lot of POINTS and VIEWS....:)

Does it sound Too Funny?

Content courtesy : Partha ,FMR India

1.

Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..

Love is always present..

Its just that,

One loves too much,

and

The other loves too many...

2.

Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!

BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the company..!

3.

Philosophy of life

At the begining of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,

Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!

4.

Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer"

No Wonder why so many of us arespeechless when Bossesask questions..!

5.

Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?

Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"

Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!

6.

After reading the form filled by an applicant..

The employer said: " WE do have an opening for you..!

Applicant: What is it?Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"

7.

A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..

Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employee... .....

Leave them to us...

Deadly Birthday to remember for life - Hilarious

This is from one of the forwards I received.

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparentthat we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home fromwork. Since I lived in the countryside, I called my husband and told himthat I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by asmall diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand.

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by thetime I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew it, Ihad consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival,my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling Ihave a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to mychair at the dinner table.

I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephonerang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned andwent to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure wasbecoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room Iseized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. Itwas not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over askunk in front of a pulpwood mill.

I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then,shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worsethan stinking cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversationin the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.

The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewellssignaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more timeswith my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feelingvery relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through theblindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seatedaround the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I nearly died!

Better be in School !!!

SMS - Use to win hearts

SMS - Use to win real good friends and wellwishers.

You must be a good runner because you are always running in my mind,
You must be a good theif because you have stolen my heart,
and I am always a bad shooter because
I Miss you always...

Friendship is like a glass handle it with care
Because once broken cannot be mended
and even if mended...
a crack is always there!!!

When Nights are long & Friends are few,
I sit by my window & think of you.
A silent whisper a silent tear.
With all my heart I wish you were here.

When I open my eyes every morning I pray to God
that everyone should have a friend like you...
why should only I suffer !!! ha ha ha

When the time comes for you to give your heart to someone,
make sure that you select someone who will never break your heart
coz broken hearts have no spare parts.

Most people walk in and out of your life,
but only FRIENDS leave footprints in your heart.

Good FRIENDS are hard to find,
harder to leave,
and impossible to forget.

Don't frown.
You never know who is falling in love with your smile.

when it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.

When you feel sad...
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
"damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness
But don't make this a habit...
Coz liars go to hell !!!

If you love someone, put their name in a circle,
instead of a heart, because hearts can break,
but circles go on forever

To handle yourself, use your head;
To handle others, use your heart.

--To be cont...

Doctor - Doctor (Joke)

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.



Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.



Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.



Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?



Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

Little Johnny - If don't laugh..Can't help

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!" "That's right!" shouted the little boy.

Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!" "That's right!" shouted the little girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, little johnny. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," little johnny answered.

The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.

"Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," he answered.

Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"

Little johnny replied, "A puppy!"


Note: If you have observed keenly in all these 'Little Johnny' jokes carry some message hidden in it.

Readers are welcome to find them and post in comment section...

Little Jonny in kindergarden again with his naughty .....

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out aboutsomething exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.

She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, since he sometimes could be a bit crude.

But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.

Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnnie.

"Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period."

"Damned if I know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one....

Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the guy next door shot himself!"

Little Johnny in School..

I donno how many like 'Little Johnny' Jokes...here we go with his naughty jokes...


A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.

She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Bobby?""Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.""Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard.Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny Billy?"

"Well teacher, I just saw BOTH of your garters."Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, and tells him - "I don't want to see you for three weeks!"

Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.

"And where do you think you are going?" she asks.

"Well teach, from what I just saw, my school days are over!"

Employer's Notice - Just a Joke

Dear Employees,

As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.

Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future.Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.

This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company.

SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW.

SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management.

This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).

Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.

If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment).

As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.

Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our:

Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We take pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor.

Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the SHIT you can stand.

And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.


P.S: Mostly, Employers do it unannounced, if announced won't it be like this notice.