Notice - Vacation

I will be on vacation starting today till sep 3rd.

I shall try my best to keep posting.

Keep visiting, your encouragement is my source of energy.

Thank you everybody .

Little Johnny - If don't laugh..Can't help

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!" "That's right!" shouted the little boy.

Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!" "That's right!" shouted the little girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, little johnny. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," little johnny answered.

The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.

"Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," he answered.

Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"

Little johnny replied, "A puppy!"


Note: If you have observed keenly in all these 'Little Johnny' jokes carry some message hidden in it.

Readers are welcome to find them and post in comment section...

Little Jonny in kindergarden again with his naughty .....

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out aboutsomething exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.

She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, since he sometimes could be a bit crude.

But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.

Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnnie.

"Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period."

"Damned if I know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one....

Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the guy next door shot himself!"

Little Johnny in School..

I donno how many like 'Little Johnny' Jokes...here we go with his naughty jokes...


A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.

She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Bobby?""Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.""Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard.Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny Billy?"

"Well teacher, I just saw BOTH of your garters."Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, and tells him - "I don't want to see you for three weeks!"

Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.

"And where do you think you are going?" she asks.

"Well teach, from what I just saw, my school days are over!"

Employer's Notice - Just a Joke

Dear Employees,

As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.

Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future.Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.

This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company.

SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW.

SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management.

This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).

Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.

If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment).

As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.

Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our:

Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We take pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor.

Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the SHIT you can stand.

And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.


P.S: Mostly, Employers do it unannounced, if announced won't it be like this notice.

Novel Readings

Today one of my colleague shared some of Sidney Shelton's books with me.

List of books :

1. Are You Afraid of The Dark
2. A stranger in the mirror
3. Best Laid plans
4. Memories of midnight
5. morning noon night
6. Nothing lasts forever
7. Rage of Angel
8. If Tomorrow comes
9. The doomsday conspiracy
10. The naked face
11. The other side of midnight
12. The stars shine down
13. Windmills of the Gods
14. Tell your dreams
15. The sands of time
16. The sky is falling

The sands of time, a very first novel I read in English. I started it, when I was doing my Post Graduation course in 1998 ( I am not very good in remembering numbers, dates and year...hmm result of which I usually score poor in History...please mind that I am a graduate student of Mathematics..dont come to me with your Maths problems...Needless to say now I am not very good in it as well).

Reading this novel took me nearly 3-4 months. Hardly I could follow the story, as sidney had used other languages intermittently. I was very much zealous joining one of the so called 'English Novel reading community'. B'coz back in classrooms, I used to hear people bragging about "this and that" Novels which was always remained jargon to me. I was very much wanted to talk like them citing a novel here and an author there,which never happened. I was then a baby in reading novels, who could withstand the pressure coming in from them.

Tell me your dreams a novel I had lent from one of my friends. Currently its in the name of ANNIYAN film (Film in my vernacular Language).

The sky is falling , a very first book I read overnight when I was in bangalore, guess it was year 2000-01. Until now, It stands the record of me completing an English novel in one sitting.

Thanks to 'English Novel reading community' keep fueling my energy in reading English novels. My Journey continues.

P.S: I have a habit of reading novels only when I get them free or lent from others. Not a penny is spent on buying English Novels of (Jeffrey, Sidney, Grisham etc.).

For your understanding on the list of Books.

Red Read Already

Blue Not yet Read

Green Plan for this week(-end)

Nuke Deal

I am currently going through '123 Agreement' published recently.Lot of interesting stuff. New learning.

I recently happened to watch a documentary (courtesy : History Channel) on "America's Nuclear facilities when,how it all started", a must watch,if you get a chance please don't miss a chance.

It all started in 1940s during WorldWar2 and continued during ColdWar . America has build around 10 -15 Nuclear facility in close proximity. All these facilities having B-REACTORs in it, which they could produce tons of enriched plutonium. By end of 1953, they had managed to have ballistic missile with nuclear warhead.

Towards an end of documentary, they had shown a "Mammoth missile" which is decommissioned by end of 1980 which could carry tons of Nuclear warhead in it, which if detonated would have cleared 900miles radius on earth to nothing more than a desert.

The Gigantic missile had been put on readiness in an underground facility, with highly safeguarded control room, can be launched less than a minutes time, to be exact 58 seconds.

I must say gigantic missile is massive and awesome scene. Ironically, I felt the feeling of excitement rather it should have been feeling of horror.

Btw, once i finish reading (past one week i am doing the same, making little progress)the agreement, we shall talk about "Nuke deal" between India and US.

For those who work...

I happen to go through some of the blogs (accidently) having very interesting articles.

One of them is "What your boss wants from you?". Friends who are working ( Should I say whoever works under a boss?) in any industry is a good read (atleast skim over it).

What your boss wants from you?

#1 Be There

#2. Dress appropriately

#3. Be honest

You may also visit The bing blog for upcoming articles on the series.You may find many other interesting articles/items under this link.

P.S: Don't miss reading comments under each article...interesting.

Happy Independence Day (Indian)

Wishing you all a very happy independence Day.

Puzzles for Brain - Let it work for a while...

Puzzle 1:

You are given 12 billiard balls that all appear identical in color, size, weight, texture, composition, etc. But one of the balls is either slightly lighter or slightly heavier than the other 11. You have a simple balance scale. Describe the process that will allow you to determine which ball is different, and if it is heavier or lighter. Oh... you can only use the scale THREE times.

Puzzle 2:

A bottle of wine cost 10$. The wine was worth 9$ more than the bottle. How much was the bottle worth?

Puzzle 3:

You have two buckets - one holds exactly 5 gallons and the other 3 gallons
How can you measure out 4 gallons of water into the 5 gallon bucket ?
(Assume that you have an unlimited supply of water and that there are no measurement markings of any kind on the buckets.)

ethnography (Digital world).

Ethnography - The branch of anthropology that provides
scientific description of individual human societies.

Anthropology - The Social Science that studies the origins and social
relationships of human beings.

Social Science - The brance of Science that studies society and the
relationships of individual within a society.

Science - A particular branch of scientific knowledge.


Don't be puzzled seeing all these words of definition. I am not a student of anthropology but the one who is interested in knowing "relationship of human beings/individuals within society".

As I was surfing the Internet, I was strucked by this clip which dealt with "Digital ethnography" (Dudes interested in Web 2.0 may want to have a look at this link).

We soon be talking about "Society" as conceived by Plato,Aristotle,Augustine, Aquinas,Immanuel Kant, Rene Descardes and Jean paul sartre.

Why not we take a contemporary view of our society?. We will try our best to cover that aspect as well.

Interesting Interview Q

(Mail by : Mohan L @ Grishma Securities)

A company was hiring new staff. One question in the written exam was:

You are driving your car in a wild stormy night. You pass by a bus station, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. A doctor who had once saved your life.

3. A man/woman you have been dreaming to be with.

You can only take one passenger in your car. Which one will you choose?Please explain your answer.

Think about it before you continue reading...

This must be some kind of personality test. Every answer has its reasoning.
You could pick up the old lady. She is going to die, and thus you should save her first. You could take the doctor, because he once saved your life. This will be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you could always pay the doctor back in the future, but you may never be able to find the perfect lover once you pass this chance.

What would you do? Post your answers in comments column and win fabulous prizes*.

* Conditions as applicable.

Death*

Scary!

Inevitable!

kismet!

Death, a tranformation.

Death, a realization.

Death, an encounter with unconquerable.

Death, a transfiguration of life in totality.

Death, one of the loveliest (who realises it?) thing of the world.

A moment ago something was physically present, Active, lively and the next moment it is NO MORE. Nobody willing to undergo this moment of wilderness.

Author is very much afraid to compare Death to anything, because there exist nothing comparable. You find no one in the world, who has passed through this way and still living. But one can always REALIZE what it means to them.

Have you ever tried imagining (Imagine is it a right word to use <: Thinking :>) that you are dead and what happens after your death?.

Have you ever tried meditating on this subject?.Is there life after death? ( Who can help us confirming with certainity?).

Why do one think about LIFE AFTER DEATH while he/she already has a life (do we really live?) now?.

Why don't we realize that there is no ESCAPE from it?. Why don't we realize we are dying every moment?.

Like Buddha says, A flame on a burning candle is not the same and so life on earth.

Can any step into same river twice?.

Can any live on their past in future?.

* more to come on this topic.

Laws - May of your Interest

Boob’s Law

You always find something in the last place you look

Weiler’s Law

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself.

Law of Volunteer Labor

People are always available for work in the past tense.

Conway’s Law

In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.

Law of Cybernetic Entomology

There is always one more bug.

Law of Drunkenness

You can’t fall off the floor.

Procrastination..

I really do not know how this came into my world. Is it by birth?. Is it genetic by nature?. Did I inherit this habit of mine from anybody in my ancestral tree?. [ A topic to be researched and explored in detail]

But I wonder not about all this,as even my coming to this world was much delayed, with lot of prayers to God and saints, I embodied myself and came into existence.Is there a purpose for my coming to this world*?.( 'This World', Is it a right usage? Doesn't it sound there is other world as well).

For more clarity, please mean it as a "World of mine" (eventhough it overlaps and intervenes in many of "your worlds"). Are we not living in the world of our own?. Are we not like atoms in a molecule*?.(In order to understand, Am I to follow Chemistry or Biochemistry?. Should I read molecular chemistry or molecular physics?)

I used to tell people, if its not delayed then there would have been another person living probably in my name (Do you believe in 'Probability and possibility'* theories?). What would have happened, If I were born earlier?. What would have happened, If I were even more late?. (Who is the right person to ask these questions?). Is there anybody who controls my existence?(My thoughts, feelings, emotions).

Who has RIGHT on my life and my existence?. What is the role of my parents?. Why do we need reproduction?. (This is what happens with me mostly, I started with some topic and going astray).

I started believing since my coming to world is delayed, everything about what I do getting delayed. I feel its my inherent nature to be like that. (Am I wrong in my believe?). Surely I am.What my readers think about it?.

I have constantly tried many tricks and tactics to get myself on track but in vain. All failed because of same reason of my dillydallying nature. If you have gone through my previous post, you would have very well understood the underlying reason for getting my plans delayed.

Points to ponder,

a) Why did I start believing that pracrastination is inherent in my nature?.

b) Do I lack determination in what I do?.

c) Am I very much lenient to myself?.

d) What should I be doing to get rid of this habit of mine?.

Readers are welcome to comment!!!

* World, molecule, probability and possibility theories, to be discussed later in coming days.

Plans 4 August

I started my plans for this month. I started thinking about the activities that I will have on Card. I wanted to plan activities dissected for each week and then for each Day of week.

Its been almost a week now, since I started planning for this month. I have only 3 weeks to go before I complete my planning for the month.

I had a panoramic view on the activities that I need to cover for this month and then started to think about fitting them to one of the four weeks and then started of with days in which certain activities may suit perfectly. I questioned myself why should i choose this day? why not another day?.

I jotted down in my mind whatever that has to be covered for next month (Next month planning already started unlike for this month). I realised there are activities which are pending from previous month (I didn't plan for the previous month..so there are backlogs) which needs urgent attention.

Wonder not I havn't completed my list of activities itself. Sometimes I feel its growing and at times I feel I am adding them.

Questions that arises in mind,

a) Why am I not able to plan ahead for this month?.

b) Why am I not able to categorize or prioritize my activities?.

c) How do I need to categorize or prioritize my activities or jobs?.

d) How am I going to cover the backlogs, if I go in this pace?.

e) What is my goal in planning the activities?.

f) How do I learn to manage my Time?.

g) Am I able to say NO to people, things when I need to?.

h) Am I involving myself in productive works?.

i) Am I the only one having this problem in planning?.

Readers, anything that would help, you are most welcome to comment!!!!

Laws that r naught to follow

The Law of Common Sense

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

The Law of Reality

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

The Law of Self Sacrifice

When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

The Law of Volunteering

If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

The Law of Avoiding Oversell

When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

The Law of Motivation

Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

Jots...

- Added labels to posts ( You , I and everything needs a label)

- Visited Reemus blog and got something to write on it (From short note on Believe from his

recent post on HP).

- Started spreading word about blog. (Surprisingly many are not aware of what Blog is, no wonder I was also in the same state of slumber a month back)

- Need to have "Visitors' column" [atleast no of visitor count] on the page. (Plz refer 'Recent addi(c)tion' post for more info)

Recent addi(c)tion !!!

Recently! I have found inundating desire to have a QUICK visit (quick?? , yes real quick, this is how it starts) to ORKUT and then from there to this newly born BLOG of mine ( I should start remembering my Blog address soon!) .

Like a PROUD father ( why am I proud?, what am I proud about? ),who come home early to have sometime spend with his baby(s), I visit and READ (Believe me!!!) each post on this BLOG atleast twice or thrice. It doesn't stop there, but pulls me even beyond ( Should I say pushes me? ) and makes me to have a SPECIAL look at the "COMMENTS" sections.

The very first question that pops in my mind is while having a look at comments section is, Is there any increase in the count on comments?. and if there is no increase obviously I could feel my heart sinking (Luckily ! there is no increase in count, God saved the world) . what a pity to an AUTHOR whose work has not been read by any?.

As an extension to these questions, there are few others which slowly creep in my mind are,

1. Is this how every author of Blog behaves or thinks or expects?

2. Why do one create a Blog?

3. Is it just to satisfy his/her desire for writing or otherwise?

4. Are we all wasting our time visiting others blogs or writing our own?.

5. what is the purpose of having a blog?.

6. Like any other commodity, Do I need to market my blog as well?.

Alas!! Yonder! I see none whom I can ask these questions...

NOTE : Write a suitable 'Moral of the story' line and win exciting prizes*!!!

P.S : Author feels happy about having atleast ONE visitor whom he knows frequenting this blog. Does it sound like riddle?. Oh! my dear! It is none other than the AUTHOR himself disguising as a reader frequents his own blog. This post is all about that.

* as usual, Conditions apply.