Deadly Birthday to remember for life - Hilarious

This is from one of the forwards I received.

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparentthat we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home fromwork. Since I lived in the countryside, I called my husband and told himthat I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by asmall diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand.

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by thetime I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew it, Ihad consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival,my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling Ihave a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to mychair at the dinner table.

I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephonerang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned andwent to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure wasbecoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room Iseized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. Itwas not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over askunk in front of a pulpwood mill.

I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then,shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worsethan stinking cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversationin the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.

The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewellssignaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more timeswith my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feelingvery relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through theblindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seatedaround the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I nearly died!